Nothing in Common Page #5

Nice.

Very good.

Oh, good book?

That's nice.

You were the best, Bubba. So far.

- Ms. Martin?

- Is he your boyfriend?

He's an old flame,

an old high-school flame.

Look closely, girls. This is what

you want to avoid later in life.

I don't know, David.

The problem is my parents

were divorced when I was 10.

The only advice my mom gave was

"Don't live in the same city. "

What crappy advice.

I can't get my parents to move.

I didn't mean that they should move.

I meant that...

You know what my

scenario was for this?

I was gonna move away

into a luxurious mansion.

My parents were

gonna visit me once.

They were gonna say,

"What a nice mansion. We love you. "

I was gonna say, "I love you too. "

Then they would go away and die.

Does this make me

an a**hole?

Hank, that jerk that I was married to,

he was an a**hole.

- Mm-hm.

- You're just, um...

Oh. Childish, immature and selfish?

That's right, I am.

You know how much money

I make for thinking this way?

It is economically

unsound to grow up.

If I did grow up and became an adult,

what would I do?

Good afternoon, Nat.

Hi, Max.

Got any tips for me?

Yeah, don't go swimming

after a heavy meal.

Drop by later.

I have some girlie pictures.

Well, if they're as bad as last week,

keep them to yourself.

Mr. Yung, a prune Danish

and a seltzer.

You got it, Max.

Oomph.

- Hello, Max.

- Hey, Sal.

- How's your wife?

- Oh, she's fine.

Good. Send her my best, huh,

even though I know she never liked me.

That makes two of us.

She never liked me either.

He's a riot. Max Basner,

last of the old-time salesmen.

The new pens arrived.

- "Stolen from the desk... "

- "Of Max Basner. "

It just so happens,

that this is a great sales gimmick.

It's also a hell of a way

to meet women.

If you were interested in sales

as much as women, we'd all be rich.

Don't you dare yell at me.

You're talking to Max Basner.

I've been the top salesman

in this company for 35 years.

Okay.

I'm sorry, Max.

Mr. Keenan from New York

has been on my back.

Just do better, Max.

Okay?

Just do better.

Over here, boss.

- Come on, let's hit the pool.

- Wait, first close your eyes.

All right,

I want an honest opinion.

- Who are you grateful to?

- Oh, it's you, Charlie Gargas.

Open your eyes

and don't laugh.

Oh, it's you.

- I don't look too dumb in this?

- No.

It looks great.

I want one.

Next month they're using my photo

in Advertising Age Magazine.

It's a horrible title for a magazine.

They're staring?

- I heard a laugh.

- Nobody's looking. Changing subject:

- Colonial Airlines is up for grabs.

- I know.

Three agencies are being

asked to do presentations.

We have to be one of them.

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