No Strings Attached Page #2

Let's smoke some weed.

This is really good stuff.

My agent got me one of those

medical marijuana cards.

It's nice to see they're

supporting your career.

Yeah. So, how's the show going?

I mean, great.

I mean, it's about high-schoolers

who sing and dance and blog.

At least you're writing,

that's what's important.

No. I'm an assistant.

Well, but... at least they've

seen your writing.

Not yet.

Actually...

I wanted to get your opinion

on this episode that I wrote.

Kind of a sample.

That's my boy.

I'll take a look at it, sure.

And then I'll call somebody.

No. Do not call anyone.

Just read it and tell me what you think.

OK.

So...

Are you having sex?

Yes. I'm having sex.

'Cause if you want any pointers,

you know...

...I can help you out.

If there's one thing you learn

after two failed marriages,

it's how to eat kitty.

- Anyone special?

- No.

I mean, not since Vanessa.

It's been a year.

It's time to move on.

It's been eight months, Dad.

What did you want

to talk to me about, anyway?

- You got a dog? Seriously, that's...

- Freckles! Come!

You didn't tell him yet?

Damn!

I...

Adam, I wanted to tell you.

I was just about to tell you.

How long?

- Well...

- How long?

Not long. I...

She needed a place to stay because,

you know, her landlord is such a D-bag.

Christmas.

I ran into her at a party.

We got to talking. About you, mostly.

It looked so soft!

It's not. God!

Oh, that really hurt. Damn.

You're f***ing my ex-girlfriend?

Well, yeah, but...

- She's just so hot.

- I know how hot she is.

- That's really sweet. Thanks, guys.

- F*** you!

Adam. All right,

I'm not the perfect dad.

But the worst thing you can do in life

is to say no to love.

And I think she really loves me.

Don't.

Adam.

Hey, you know the best part

about my gay dads?

What?

They're never gonna eat out

my ex-girlfriends.

That's true.

Hey, I heard. You and your dad

are tunnel buddies, huh?

- Wow, Wallace!

- She chose your dad over you, man.

That's like trading an iPod

for a 8 track.

You need to get even. Go have sex

with one of his ex-girlfriends.

Hey, you think

when he's busting a nut,

he's like, "Great Scott"? No?

Wait. Can we talk about something else?

Like, literally, anything else?

- Yeah.

- Of course. Yeah.

- Great Scott.

- OK.

- That's it. I'm going for it.

- Going for what?

I'm gonna call every girl in my phone

until someone agrees

to have sex with me.

- That's strong. Toast to that.

- Toast.

That is a terrible,

self-destructive plan,

and we're behind you

a hundred percent.

Well, hello to you!

Yeah, I can come to Ohio.

Ohio? No, you can't.

I'll take a cab.

No, it's fine. I'll come to you.

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