Ninja Girl: The Lightning Orb Page #3

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It's a date.

Ah!

Oh...

Shall I

peel you a grape?

No, but you can

bring me a mink coat.

Shouldn't we wait

for Alma?

Just one

for the birds.

Ah.

Dry enough for you?

Should have run

another screen test.

Oh?

Show you

at a cocktail party,

see what your acting is like

after one of my martinis.

My acting will be

horizontal.

Well, here's to us...

horizontal, vertical,

and symmetrical.

To Alfie and Tippi.

To Alfie and Alma.

You've both been

so kind.

I feel like

I've learned more

in the past 3 months

than I could have

in 10 years

of film school.

Well, I think we should

drink to birds,

especially the ones I've

got roasting in the oven.

To the first day

of principal photography,

and to the girl.

Our girl.

Not that one.

The other one.

Get that one!

Get it out of the rain!

Wipe it off!

Will he eat

from my hand?

Why don't you

ask him?

Here, Buddy.

Mr. Buddy, sir, won't

you join me for tea?

Oh, Buddy, that is

so clever.

I raise him myself

from a chick.

Pound for pound,

the raven and the cockatoo

are the cleverest

animals on the planet.

Can I borrow

the lady for a moment?

So long as

you bring her back.

Now I want

his job.

Oh, no, you

don't.

Poor guy put out

a call to every

professional trapper in

every state of the union.

Offered $10 for every bird

that was brought in.

"Get your checkbooks

ready," they said...

"We'll be bringing them

in by the truckload."

Guess how many arrived.

Oh, no.

No.

None.

Oh, my gosh.

Did it all on his

own and got fined

$400 for exceeding the legal

limit for trapping birds.

Oh, the guys

are so funny.

"There was a young

man from Nantucket,

"who had such a large

cock he could suck it,

"Looked in the glass

and saw his own ass

"and broke his neck

trying to f*** it."

You think maybe

it's drying up?

Will we be shooting

this afternoon?

Not unless

you fix your hair.

He's angry

with me.

He never gets

angry with anyone.

He just gets bored

in between takes.

There you go.

You're done.

You ready, Tippi?

This way.

I won't change my timings

if you get yours wrong,

so pay attention

to the camera.

Let's go for a take.

Stand by, everybody.

Going for a take on this one.

Quiet!

Roll it!

Speed.

Action.

Action!

Uh! Uh!

Cut it. Rita.

Oh, dear.

Oh, no.

Are you all right?

Are you all right?

You goddamn idiot.

One small peck on the hand,

and he let Charlie get away.

Let him go.

We'll lose the scene, and

you don't even like gulls.

Now what is it?

Jim, we can't finish

the scene without him.

Jim, for God's sakes.

...another

pair of shoes.

OK, OK.

Sorry, Hitch.

That's a wrap,

everyone!

Tippi, I'll drop your

schedule off at the motel,

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