Nightwatching Page #4

I want 100 guilders for a full-length,

half the money up front.

Now, how much did van der Helst

get for this one?

- 2, 3, 6, 7, 8...

full-lengths at 100.

2, 3, 6, 7...

half-lengths at 50.

2, 4, 6, 8...

nine heads-and-shoulders at 25.

Which is 1,375.

- Not bad.

- Well, he should've subtracted 100

for that stale duck,

50 for the vulgar drinking-horn,

and 25

for that dried-up vegetation.

- Hello!

Looks like

they're making certain

that you don't have a choice,

Rembrandt.

Ah, they've already reserved

you a space,

Rembrandt.

You have been named.

- I want to draw everyone

beforehand.

That's essential.

And I'm not doing long rows

of pompous faces,

but anyway, I have other

things to do first,

and I want nine months.

Human gestation period.

If it takes that long

to make a baby,

it will certainly take that long

to make a painted army.

- It doesn't take that long

to make a baby.

Ten seconds, at the most.

- For you, maybe,

but for me, with the right

dimples and curls,

five seconds.

- Ah.

(laughter)

- This is me with Saskia.

Saskia van Uylenburgh.

Hendrick Uylenburgh's cousin.

Now, Hendrick was my dealer

and patron for eight years.

How was she?

Well, she was

my dealer's cousin,

and the three of us knew

what we were doing.

A business proposition.

Keep it in the family,

so to speak.

A dynastic marriage.

Twenty when I met her.

I was... 25.

I admit that I was, at first,

not so much taken with her.

A little insipid, I thought.

And she was also hoity-toity.

An accent.

At least from where I stood.

She smirked a great deal.

She kept eating almonds,

which she hid

in a pocket somewhere.

Maybe in her underwear,

close to her skin.

And...

and perhaps

that excited me a little.

Out of her armpit...

into her mouth.

We met for the first time

in a church.

The Old Church, Amsterdam.

You don't normally think

of armpits in a church.

Her first question

she ever asked me

was how the mills

were turning in Leiden.

- So how do the mills turn

in Leiden?

- Cheeky cow.

I said, "Well enough.

As well as they turn

in Friesland.

The wind blows in Leiden

as much as it does

in Leeuwarden,

or, for that matter,

out of any miller's arse,"

and she smirked again.

So I could see

it was going to be possible

to share a dirty joke with her.

God, she had big feet.

And, I must admit,

the most delightful,

tight little arse.

We married,

and it worked.

We rousted about.

Did she love me?

Hmm...

I don't know.

Did I love her?

I don't know.

She was more like a relative

I had known all my life.

Perhaps even like a... sister,

but legitimate in bed,

so to speak.

How do babies grow

in your family?

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