Nightlight

1

I had a bad couple of days,

a few days...

I actually had

a suicide attempt.

Um...

I swallowed a bunch of

anti-depressants.

Sometimes I think I should

just take this flashlight

and... just go out to

Covington and disappear.

My friend has seen some of these

videos that I've recorded,

And she made us this.

Matching key chains.

It's a picture of us from

middle school at a dance.

And it's really nice of her.

Um... She's one of

the best people I know.

I think I'm going

to ask her to the dance.

Maybe things will

change after that.

Who knows?

You stupid f***ing flashlight.

Piece of sh*t.

How am I supposed to play

flashlight games

my flashlight doesn't work?

OK.

You're fine.

Damn it.

All right.

Stop crying.

Just forget about it,

forget about him.

Hey!

Hey, boy.

According to Facebook...

Ben likes... sports.

And he likes rock climbing.

He likes Abercrombie & Fitch.

I know.

He really likes dogs,

so you are going

to be my wing man. OK?

OK? OK? OK.

Good boy. You're such a...

Damn it.

Hey, Ben.

Hey, how you doing? Yeah.

Not how you doing...

How are...

Thank you for

inviting me to play

flashlight games with you guys.

Oh, it's going to be

so scary in Covington.

Oh, that sounds

f***ing desperate.

OK. Um...

- Hey guys.

- Hold on.

Can we just talk about

our faces for a second?

- Hi, puppy.

- What up?

Hey, what's your name?

Robin.

I was talking to the dog.

Oh no, I know.

Yeah, that's Kramer.

Well, If you could

keep Kramer away from me,

that would be sweet.

It looks like you were crying.

No, no.

No, I wasn't, I wasn't crying.

I was just, like...

I was laughing so hard

so my eyes were watering.

Does he know any tricks?

I think it's kind of weird

that you brought a dog.

- It's not weird.

- It's weird.

- It's not weird.

- It's weird.

Does anybody know

when Ben's coming?

Why?

- What?

- I said why?

I'm just, I'm just wondering.

You are so weird.

I'm just wondering when

everybody's coming.

Uh huh. You're wondering

when everybody's coming?

Or are you wondering

when Ben is coming?

Very funny. Can I have

my flashlight back please?

Everybody knows you have

a f*** crash on Ben.

Is it because he's British?

No I don't, I don't,

I don't like Ben.

- Hi Ben.

- Hey.

Hey Ben.

Aah!

Your guest brought a dog.

Hey boy.

Are you excited?

I know we said

Lincoln Forest. But, uh...

it's going to be

way cooler in Covington.

Yeah, I've always wanted to play

flashlight games with you guys.

I brought my own flashlight.

Ooh, she brought

her own flashlight.

Whoa. Where did

you find the dog?

- Hey Kramer, buddy.

- So Ben, you've...

you've played

Nightlight before right?

- How does it...?

- Oh, by the way...

How does it work?

Is it like hide and seek?

- 'Cause...

- Robin.

'cause I am

awesome at that game.

Yo, Robin.

Do you work at the

Dairy Beach right now?

Me?

Yeah.

Yeah, Cathy told me

that she thought

she saw you yesterday

cleaning counters or something.

No. No, I

wouldn't work there...

Memorize the Wikipedia page?

Funny.

Guys? How much

further are we going?

It's kind of

good marketing I guess.

Like, you're not cool unless

you kill yourself in Covington.

We're not going

to the church are we?

A f***ing possum.

Ah!

People come

here to die, it's so pretty.

Maybe it's the altitude.

Like it makes people do things

they don't want to do.

The only thing that makes me do

things I don't want to do...

is vagina.

Not mine.

Are you OK?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm cool.

No you're not.

Oh, my God. The

scariest sh*t I've ever heard.

What?

You can see dead bodies

just lying at

the bottom of the Crest.

Like that kid from

our school? What his name?

- Who?

- Ethan.

If I was gonna commit

suicide I'd do something cool.

Like drive my Vespa

into a tornado.

Chris.

Or, or swallow dynamite.

Can you keep walking please?

You can't just go

to some gay ass...

Keep moving...

If you kill yourself,

you deserve to

literally lose your life.

You know I mean?

OK.

That's not mean is it?

All right, come on let's go.

I don't know how you guys think

she's gonna play nightlight

if she can't even cross a log.

Yay, Robin.

I read this OMG fact How long

'til we're through walking?

That this forest is a great

place for blow jobs...

from ghosts.

Shut up.

Ghost blow jobs.

It's starting

to feel very "rape-y".

I've got an Oh My God fact,

that if we don't get

to the stump in 5 minutes

I'm going to throw

you off the Crest.

Whoa! what was that?

Did you just check out his ass?

What? No.

Where were you shining that?

I wasn't shining it anywhere?

Robin was shining

it right on your ass.

Are you checking out my ass?

No, I wasn't.

I wasn't at all.

You guys, I have a way

better ass than Ben.

Come on... I swim.

Have you ever heard

of Bad News Brian?

Argh!

- Oh, yeah yeah yeah.

- Yeah yeah.

He's so funny.

What is it?

He's hilarious

Or, Unlucky Brian.

Oh, Unlucky Brian.

Unlucky Brian.

Do you guys

follow the President?

I think it's close enough.

Who's first?

I'll show you

guys how it's done.

Go do it.

Let's do this thing.

You girls are

going to regret this.

Here we go.

Go, go, go.

Whoo!

Ben, what happens

if we don't get to

your flashlight in time?

I don't know. That's never

happened before.

Ben, you're up.

Do this thing.

I'm up.

Why is he next?

That's not fair.

Chivalry is isn't dead.

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