Never Been Kissed

FADE IN:

CLOSE UP ON A GIRL'S FACE

It's Josie Geller, 25, cute, blonde and scared out of her

wits. We hear the chanting of a crowd.

CROWD:

Josie! Josie! Josie!

JOSIE (V.O.)

You know in some movies how they

have a dream sequence only they

don't tell you it's a dream?

PULL OUT to reveal Josie on pitcher's mound of a--

EXT. A BASEBALL STADIUM -- NIGHT

It's packed. Reporters line the field. All eyes are on

Josie.

JOSIE (V.O.)

This is so not a dream.

The stadium clock sets at 5:00. The crowd goes crazy. Josie

takes a deep, nervous breath and smiles, "Oh God."

INT. ELECTRONICS STORE -- CONTINUOUS

Multiple images of Josie play across rows of TV sets. A

crowd has gathered.

JOSIE (V.O.)

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

I was just trying to do my job.

And then things happened. Well,

life happened. And now I'm here.

EXT. BASEBALL STADIUM -- CONTINUOUS

The clock starts to tick down. The crowd yells again.

JOSIE (V.O.)

Trust me. I am not the kind of

girl who does things like this. I

mean, two months ago you couldn't

have picked me out of a crowd...

INT. CHICAGO SUN TIMES BULLPEN -- DAY

Packed with office workers. Bustling with activity. The

CAMERA searches the CROWD.

JOSIE (V.O.)

Told you. I'm over there.

The CAMERA SWINGS to Josie entering. Rhoda, a young copy

assistant, tails her, pen and paper in hand.

RHODA:

Theater--

JOSIE:

Standard American calls for "er".

Standard British is "re". So go

for "er", unless you're a pompous

American, then go for British.

Josie keeps negotiating the maze, leaving Rhoda in her

wake.

RHODA:

No. Theater. Last night. We were

supposed to go, remember?

Josie stops at a desk where Merkin Burns, officious office

assistant, is talking on the phone. He picks his nose with

abandon as he talks, ignoring Josie.

MERKIN:

(into phone)

No way. No way. No way. Ech, hold

on.

(to Josie)

What.

JOSIE:

Messages?

Merkin removes his finger from his nose and uses it to

pick up a pink message. He holds it out to Josie. Disgusted,

she takes it by one corner.

MERKIN:

(into phone)

Seriously? No way. No way--

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