Network Page #4

You remember

the Mary Ann Gifford kidnapping?

It's that bunch of nuts. She's in the movie

shooting off machine guns.

Really terrific footage. I think we can get

a hell of a Movie of the Week out of it...

...maybe even a series.

A series out of what?

What are we talking about?

Look, we've got a bunch

of hobgoblin radicals...

...called the Ecumenical

Liberation Army...

...who go around taking home movies

of themselves robbing banks.

And maybe they'll take movies

of themselves kidnapping heiresses...

...um, hijacking 747s, bombing bridges,

assassinating ambassadors.

We'd open each week's segment

with that authentic footage...

...hire writers to write some story

behind that footage...

...and we've got ourselves a series.

A series about a bunch

of, uh, bank-robbing guerillas?

What are we gonna call it,

The Mao Tse-Tung Hour?

-Ha, ha!

Why not?

They've got Strike Force, Task Force,

SWAT, why not Che Guevara...

...and his own little mod squad?

Look, I sent you all

a concept-analysis report yesterday.

Did any of you read it?

Well, in a nutshell, it said

the American people are turning sullen.

They've been clobbered by Vietnam,

Watergate, inflation, the Depression.

They've turned off, shot up and f***ed

themselves limp. And nothing helps.

So this concept-analysis report concludes

the American people want somebody...

...to articulate their rage for them.

I've been telling you people

since I took this job six months ago...

...that I want angry shows.

I don't want conventional programming

on this network, I want counterculture.

I want antiestablishment.

I don't wanna play butch boss

with you people.

When I took over this department...

...it had the worst programming record

in television history.

This network hasn't one show

in the top 20.

This network is an industry joke.

And we better start putting together

one winner for next September.

I want a show developed based

on the activities of a terrorist group.

Joseph Stalin

and his merry band of Bolsheviks.

I want ideas from you people.

That is what you're paid for.

And, by the way, the next time I send

an audience research report around...

...you'd all better read it, or I'll sack

the f***ing lot of you, is that clear?

I'll be out on the coast in, uh, four weeks.

Will you set up a meeting

with Laureen Hobbs?

Sure.

But the business of management

is management.

And at the time CCA took control

of the UBS TV Network...

...it was foundering with less than

...most network programs being sold

at station rates.

I am pleased to announce I am

submitting to the board of directors...

...a plan for the coordination

of the main profit centers.

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