National Theatre Live: The Comedy of Errors Page #3

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I'm f***ing saying anyway.

You know, I mean... You

know, Hitler had...

You didn't just

say, "Hitler had."

Hitler had... What?

Ideas.

Uh-huh.

I'm not a... you know, a Nazi

or anything, but I think

that he gets... he deserves

a little bit of credit.

Um, yeah.

You know, for... not for...

For killing any,

you know, forget... take him...

Take genocide out of the...

Murder out of the equation... Sure.

He was kind of like a, uh...

Like a... Like a male

cheerleader for his own people.

I will say he was an

incredible public speaker.

Very, very good.

He also had horrible

indigestion.

This is true.

He had... he had, like, gas.

He had gas problems.

Is that why his belt

was always so high up?

Well, if you watch... If

you watch his speeches,

he would do his... And then at the

end, people would be applauding,

and he would go... No, that's just...

It's true.

Check it out.

Look on YouTube.

Wake up.

Wake up.

If it comes to damage to an

apartment caused by sh*t

or piss or vomit or

blood, it's usually one

of our well-to-do tenants.

The low-income poverty level guys...

they'll spray taco grease

all over the wall...

On the ceiling.

Maybe some bacon

grease in the drains.

You know, you got

to get that out.

But for the most part, even though they...

They're idiots.

They keep it a little

tidier, you know?

Don't have that sense of

entitlement about shitting

all over our property.

Yup.

I'd like to just keep a

couple of the tenants,

throw out all the others.

Let the hobos take over.

Turn it into a hobo jungle.

I don't have to be on the

f***ing phone with McClaren

about all this sh*t three

times, four times a day.

Don't have to waste your

time filling you in.

You let these hobos take over,

they're, again, tidy

people, tidy people.

Hobos are tidy people?

They're the cleanest...

Cleanest people you'd ever meet

because... I mean, their asses are

dirty, but their c*cks are clean

as a baby's breath.

Yeah.

Hobo d*cks are cleaner than... I

was reading this the other day.

Hobo d*cks are cleaner

than hospital scalpels.

I mean, they're like...

They've done, you know...

They've taken hobo d*cks under

microscopes and have been

unable to detect any

bacteria of any kind.

It's like 99.9% pure cock.

Everybody know... Because

their c*cks are sucked

so repeatedly, it's like going...

It's like taking your

car to a car wash.

If you're a hobo, you go

down to the f***ing wall

street and wait around

until about 5:
01 P.M.

These stockbrokers come

out all looking for

hobo dick to suck, you

know what I mean?

D*cks are already hard.

And they Polish the... They

Polish the f***ing c*cks so

They get their d*cks hard in the

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