National Security

Synopsis: Earl and Hank have only one thing in common: they're both L.A.P.D. rejects. One just got kicked out, the other can't even get in. After confronting each other on opposite sides of the law during a traffic stop that escalates out of control, these two luckless individuals end up partnered as lowly security guards. Despite being damned to the lowest rung of the law enforcement ladder, Earl and Hank uncover a sophisticated smuggling operation led by Nash and his band of thugs. When Earl and Hank get their hands on some hot property, they go on the run from, first the bad guys, then the L.A.P.D.--led by Lt. Washington and Detective McDuff. What these two unlikely partners do to law enforcement is a crime, but they just might save the day. That is, if they don't kill each other first.
Genre: Action, Comedy, Crime
Director(s): Dennis Dugan
Production: Sony Pictures
Rotten Tomatoes:
88 min

How long does it take to make a taco?

Two minutes. But it takes 20

to convince them I'm not Immigration... get the cook up

from the basement. Here.

Call it.

- Ex-con.

- No way.

- What?

- Wannabe cop.

- He's got "academy reject" all over him.

- Hey, pal.

Hey, buddy.

- Try "dude."

- Hey, dude!

- You did time in Chino, right?

- No, Lompoc.

I told you. Only job the

poor bastards can get. Thanks.

Thirteen-A-six-seven, a 4-59...

... silent alarm. Centurion

Storage, Alvarado and Marathon.

A-six-seven, roger.


cancel that alarm.

- Must've been a power glitch.

- Want to take a peek?

Why is it that on these quiet

nights you get restless?

This is a great opportunity for us

to connect, you know?

We can open up with one another

and really talk. You need a hug?

Shut up.

You called it.

A-six-seven, door open,

Centurion Storage...

...Alameda and 22nd. Request backup.

- Roger.

- Let's go.

- Three-one en route.

Hey, Charlie, you ever hear

of that word "stealth"?

Shut up.

At least they don't know we're here.

The element of surprise.

- Ready?

- Yeah, I'm ready.

- Go on.

- You're unbelievable.

- Let's split up.

- Okay.


A-six-seven, shots fired!

Shots fired! Officer needs help!

Hank, taking fire, four to five

suspects on my side.


Come in! Where you at?

I'm in the big room, off the office.

- Hank!

- I got you!

- Hank!

- It's bulletproof! I'm coming in!

Charlie! Your six!


Your six!

A-six-seven, my partner's down!

Request paramedics.

I have four suspects, armed!

My partner has been hit!

All units, all units, all L.A. units.

Officer down. Officer down.

Impressive, Montgomery.

You realize, though, you missed

the target in the middle.

Who, the brother?

I wasn't shooting at him.

- Mind telling me why not?

- He don't look suspicious.

Look at him. One brother, surrounded

by four white guys with guns.

The man is terrified.

You want him to tap-dance?

It's all right, brother.

Okay? I got you.

Don't be afraid to call 911.

I keeps it clean, when

Montgomery's on the scene.

What the problem is?

On behalf of the citizens

of Los Angeles...

...I present to you our nation's flag.


Sorry. He was a good man.

I want in on the investigation.

I think it's best if we let McDuff

handle this. It's complicated.

What's complicated?

My partner's dead. I want the

son of a b*tch who did it.

There was $800,000 of

stolen computer chips there...

...and a warrant to seize it.

Last night, somebody cleared it out.

I don't care about computer chips.

I want the guy who killed Charlie.

You're not a detective.

Stick to your job.

- Fine.

- Interfere with an investigation... won't have a job.

- Fine.

- They're gonna find him.

- Yeah.

When chasing a suspect,

maintain visual contact...

...until a backup force can

arrive to assist in the arrest.


Nice job, Taylor.

Say something, Montgomery?

You said, "Nice job, Taylor,"

and I just said:

- Think you can do it better?

- Let me think.

Check me out.

Hey, Taylor, you think he ready?

- I'll take this.

- All yours.

Show this boy how it's done.

So you the suspect, man?

What you do?

Doesn't matter.

You could've robbed a bank,

mugged an old lady...

...said something about my mama?

Just chase me, smartmouth.

Okay, Mr. White Bank Robber.

You're insane!

And you're resisting arrest.

Don't you run from me.

Don't you run from me.

I'm insane? I'm insane when it

comes to old-lady muggers, huh?

You like robbing banks, huh?

You said something about my mama?

And I heard you call me "boy."

That's cowboy to you.


I see how this works.

The system can't tolerate a black man

with superior skills.

I'm the future, and it scares you...

...because you'll be out of work!

I remember when the

NBA was all white.

That's all right. That's all right. I'm cool.

Because y'all losing somebody good.

I'm a one-man, kung-fu SWAT team.

That's all right.

I got skills!

You b*tches!


- You don't have to get out there so soon.

- No, I'm better off.

- Want somebody to ride with you?

- Nope. It's okay.

Need some help?

You asking me if I need help,

or if I'm stealing this car?

Okay, fine.

Are you stealing this car?

Does it look like I'm stealing this car?

- Little bit.

- Why? Because I'm black?

White man has his hand in the car... give him a Good

Samaritan award.

Figure he's going around

turning off people's lights.

All right, license and

registration, please.

I ain't showing you a

damn thing, you Nazi.

- Excuse me?

- Hey, man!

This here? This is my car.

I ain't done nothing wrong.

The way I see it... owe me an apology.

- What did you call me?

You ain't listening, baby.

We ain't got nothing to talk about.

Unless it starts

with you saying, "I'm sorry."

You're on dangerous grounds.

Be careful what comes

out of your mouth next.

Wanna hear what comes

out of my mouth next?





- You're under arrest.

- Oh, no.

I ain't under arrest. You are.

I'm arresting your ass.

Citizen's arrest. You're under

arrest for false arrest.

Hands up on the car!

Give me those cuffs.

Back off! I'm warning you.

You're warning me? You

have the right to shut up.

That's it, get up against the car!

Don't make me add "resisting arrest."

Now! Up against the car!

- Watch my car, I just had it detailed.

- Settle down! Understand?

This is police brutality!

You ain't doing nothing but

compounding problems.

- I've had enough crap!

- I'm telling you, man. Get off me.


- What?

- A big-ass bumblebee behind you!

You don't think I'll fall for that, do you?

I'm allergic. If I get stung...

...I'm gonna seize up and die.

What? Just ignore him

and he won't touch you.

- Yeah. All right.

- Look! Right there.

I'm gonna...

Help! He's trying to kill me!

- Help! Help! He's trying to kill me!

- Get down! I got him!

Don't kill me!

I got him!

He's trying to kill me!

- You are seeing video...

- Check this out.

... taken earlier today, showing

Los Angeles officer, Hank Rafferty...

... brutally beating an

unidentified black male.

Police are withholding his name...

... but we have obtained

this photograph...

... taken after the beating, his face

grotesquely bruised and swollen.

It was a bumblebee.

Officer Rafferty's vicious

beating of a black suspect...

... has sparked a swift and angry

response from the black community.

Detective McDuff had this reaction:

The police and the district attorney's

office are treating this very seriously.

I urge the people of this city...

... to please be patient and

trust us to do our jobs.

Clearly, this is an isolated incident.

- It was a bee.

- Get the hell out of here.

Mr. Montgomery, this

is Detective McDuff...

...Lieutenant Washington and

District Attorney Robert Barton.

- Morning.

- Good morning. Call me.

I'm serious.

Giggler. All right.

Weren't you on TV last night?

Rate this script:2.0 / 2 votes

Jay Scherick

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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