Nanny McPhee script
Nanny McPhee (2005)
Synopsis: Widower Cedric Brown (Colin Firth) hires Nanny McPhee (Emma Thompson) to care for his seven rambunctious children, who have chased away all previous nannies. Taunted by Simon (Thomas Sangster) and his siblings, Nanny McPhee uses mystical powers to instill discipline. And when the children's great-aunt and benefactor, Lady Adelaide Stitch (Angela Lansbury), threatens to separate the kids, the family pulls together under the guidance of Nanny McPhee.

[magical tinkling]

[man] We must begin our story, sad to say,

with an empty chair.

If it were not empty,

we would not have a story.

But it is, and we do, and it is time to tell it.

[birds twitter]

[whooshing and tinkling]

This is the story of my family,

of my seven children, who are all very clever

but all very, very, very naughty.

Aaaaah! Aaaah! Aaaaa-aaaagh...!

This is Nanny Whetstone,

the th nanny I had hired

to look after my children.

- Aaaaagh...!

- She was the strictest, the toughest

and the most fearless nanny in all the land.

As I went to work that day

at the funeral parlour,

I was confident in the knowledge

that there was nothing, absolutely nothing

- that my children could do to upset her.

- [shrieking approaches]

They've eaten the baby!

Except that.

- [children] Quick! He's coming!

- Hide!

- Quiet!

- Stop it!

- Shh!

- [urgent whispering]

[child burps]

Children, where's Aggy?

- [baby gurgles happily]

- [bells jingle]

[rattle jingles]

- Look at you.

- [Aggy gurgles]

You're all cabbagey.

Oh...and you're all gravy-y.

As was your intention, Nanny Whetstone

has resigned from her post.

I shall go to the agency this afternoon

and hire a new nanny.

You will not drive her away

as you have done with her predecessors.

[Aggy gurgles joyfully]

Papa.

Can't catch me out.

That showed 'em who's boss.

Aaaagh! Whoa! Ooh! [grunts]

Three days, eight hours and minutes.

So that got rid of her...

hours and minutes

quicker than the last one.

I think the turning point was definitely

eating the baby. Well done, Eric.

Mr Brown, are you all right?

I'm perfectly all right.

Evangeline, could you let Cook know

that the new nanny has had to leave

and I'm off to the agency to find a new one?

Good. I'll just...

[rattles doorknob]

- Mrs Partridge?

- [woman] We're closed.

- There's been a tiny hiccup.

- We're not here.

- Please, let me in...

- Go away.

Listen, they didn't eat the baby.

It was a chicken, actually.

There's no more nannies! You've had your lot.

[slams door upstairs]

[hinge creaks]

[mysterious woman's voice]

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Emma Thompson

Emma Thompson (born 15 April 1959) is a British actress, comedian, and writer. She is known for her portrayals of reticent women, often in period dramas and literary adaptations, and playing haughty or matronly characters with a sense of irony. She is considered one of Britain's most accomplished actresses. more…

All Emma Thompson scripts | Emma Thompson Books

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