Nancy, Please Page #5

off that I showed up.

She's just f***ing

with us at this point.

Were you being really

mean to her or something?

What? Jesus Christ! No, it's

not my fault that she's

being so mean.

Don't put this on me!

Well I...

I don't know what to do.

I mean, they're just notes, right?

I mean, I'm sure

you'll be able to...

reconstruct them if you tried.

(LAUGHS LOUDLY)

That's not the point.

The point is, it's my book.

Mine!

I've been eminently reasonable

but at this point it

amounts to stealing.

She is stealing from me!

Of course it's your book,

nobody's disputing that.

But it seems as if Nancy's

gonna be as big a b*tch

about this as she possibly can.

And what's right, isn't

necessarily what's best.

Wouldn't you say?

(HINGES CREAK)

(LOW BASS RIFF)

(GENERAL BUSTLING NOISE)

(MUSIC CHANGES, SWELLS)

(BAND PLAYING)

Break her thumbs.

- How long has it been?

- Seven and a half days.

- Seriously, break her thumbs.

- I'm not breaking Nancy's thumbs.

Fag.

I'm serious. What

do I do about this?

One would one reasonably

do in this situation?

Well for starters you could

stop being such a baby.

Intimidate her, man.

Just tell her you're going

to punch her in the vagina.

She's a freaking little elf woman.

Just put the pressure on her.

Won't work. Nancy is

insanely stubborn.

This one time, we'd only been

living together a few months,

I told her that if she didn't

was her dishes I was gonna

throw them all out into the street.

They'd been sitting there

for like a week, stinking,

I was mostly... joking. You know?

She gets up...

collects a bunch of plates, out

the sink that belong to her,

she walks outside, and

smashes them in the street.

One at a time. Slowly.

Then she comes back in,

and never says another

word about it.

- That's insane.

- Yes.

Nancy's insane. She

actually did that?

More or less.

I mean, to be fair, wasn't

that cut and dry, but...

F*** that! No. F***in' bluffing

paper-tiger diva bullshit!

- You still have the keys to her place?

- No.

Alright, we're gonna go

get this f***in' thing.

What?

We're gonna go get this

f***in' book right now.

This is stupid, come on.

No, what if she isn't home?

Then we have a relaxing drive

around sunny New Haven.

Come on!

It's a little late to go...

Better remorse, than

regret, my friend.

You're ok to drive, right?

(SNORTS, LAUGHS)

(SIGHS)

Takes money to make money.

I'm gonna roll by.

(MUSIC FROM CAR RADIO)

She's home! She's home!

Wh... Pull over!

- Turn off the lights?

- What?

- Why?

- So she can't see us.

- We want her to see us.

- Just for a second!

Why are you whispering?

(CLICK, CAR ENGINE TURNS OFF)

(STILL WHISPERING) I'm not.

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