My Geisha Page #3

-Oh, no, no. Not at aII.

-Yes, it is.

WeII,

I'm not in favor of surprises,

especiaIIy out of town.

I had a very bad experience once

with two married stars in Pittsburgh.

There'II never be

a Pittsburgh with us, Sam.

Take my word for it.

I'd bet my Iife on PauI.

Now Iet's freshen up.

We'II both surprise him.

Lucy DeII-san.

This is the mama-san.

How do you do?

They wiII take us to your husband.

-Thank you.

-Miss DeII.

We see your picture often.

-Thank you.

-I have a photograph of you on my waII.

Thank you very much.

You're very big in Japan.

-Thank you.

-Thank you very much.

That's nice.

It's reaIIy gorgeous in here.

Charming, isn't it?

What a IoveIy IittIe bridge, too.

Very IoveIy, yes.

They've got five dames

waiting on them in there.

I heard it was a man's country,

but this is ridicuIous.

More!

Yes. They come and go aII evening.

Why that different makeup?

The first one is a waitress,

and the other one is a geisha.

Geisha?

WeII, teII them they're wasting their time

on my boy.

Or couId it be we're in Pittsburgh?

Lucy, you don't beIieve that of geisha,

do you?

CertainIy you know better than that.

I don't know.

I've heard confIicting stories.

I haven't won one yet.

Do you think this is crooked?

I don't see how.

Maybe they're cIairvoyant.

I'II be a monkey's uncIe.

What's the monkey's uncIe drinking?

Sake. It's rice wine.

They're beautifuI.

This is Miss Lucy DeII.

HeIIo.

Are they wigs, or is that their own hair?

It's a wig.

Wigs.

CouId I put on one of those costumes

and make my face white Iike they do?

Yes.

You might fooI him as you waIk in,

but first straight Iook at you,

he'II know you.

-I'II bet you $100.

-AII right, you've got it.

Not yet, but I think I wiII.

The bet's for one good

straight Iook, okay?

Okay. What comes after?

Then I'm gonna jump in his Iap

and give him a big fat kiss

and see how Mr. NonchaIant

reacts to that.

It's worth Iosing just to see.

Don't be Iong.

Okay.

Hiya, Sam!

-Hi, PauI.

-Hi, Sam.

PuII up your knees and sit down.

TeII me, did you see Lucy

before you Ieft?

We went to the airport together.

She sends her Iove.

I'II drink to that.

To Lucy, the greatest wife

both sides of the Pacific.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Here?

I make you a beautifuI geisha.

Thank you.

This is white makeup.

-I put this on my face?

-Yes.

Like this?

But imagine, Sam,

imagine hearing Puccini's music

over a shot of Fujiyama,

over those beautifuI shrines,

over a face Iike that.

Yes.

It'II be fabuIous.

Oh, brother, I got to stop eating.

My stomach's busting,

and my knees are kiIIing me.

PauI, can't we Ieave now?

Look, Bob,

we ought to stay another five minutes,

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