My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 Page #5

PARIS (CONT’D)

I can’t take that everyone is

always in my business! Give me

some air. I’m not a kid, I can be

late to a class, there won’t be a

spasmodic catastrophic ripple in

the space-time continuum. And yes,

four of those words are Greek.

Paris storms away, Ian looks worn out.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. HIGH SCHOOL - NIGHT

BANNER:
COLLEGE FAIR TONIGHT

(CONTINUED)

14

CONTINUED:

PARENTS and STUDENTS enter the gym.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. HIGH SCHOOL GYM - NIGHT

BOOTHS line the walls. Fresh-faced REPS, from colleges from

Harvard to Phoenix University, talk to STUDENTS and PARENTS.

Slapping on a PARENT VOLUNTEER sticker, Toula looks for Ian,

sees those overbearing moms, Marge and Edie, and ducks back.

They intercept her.

TOULA:

Hey, hi!

Marge and Edie click their pens, tap their clipboards.

MARGE:

Where were you when we set up?

TOULA:

Sorry, my pipes froze --

EDIE:

And decorated the gym -

TOULA:

I had to plunge the sink -They

stare her down, clicking their pens.

MARGE:

You’re on Clean-Up.

Marge hands Toula a garbage can, they leave as Ian walks up.

IAN:

Hi.

Having been married 17 years, they barely look at each other.

TOULA:

Hi.

Ian takes the garbage can from Toula, shakes his head.

IAN:

You can say no to them.

Toula laughs ruefully.

(CONTINUED)

15

CONTINUED:

TOULA:

Sure.

IAN:

Babe, it’s been a long time since

those two made fun of your lunch --

Toula winces, remembering.

TOULA:

They called it moose-caca.

Ian nods, he’s heard it before.

Toula sees and points to Paris:

IAN:

There’s Paris ....

Paris moves to the next booth: NORTHWESTERN UNIVERSITY.

IAN (CONT’D)

Hey, if she goes to Northwestern,

she’ll stay in Chicago!

TOULA:

Please, oh please. Should we go

over there?

IAN:

Nuh uh.

Ian gently pulls Toula back.

TOULA:

Right.

MARIA (O.C.)

There she is!

Toula’s face freezes. Did she just hear her mother?

TOULA:

No no.

THE PORTOKALOS FAMILY (Gus, Maria, UNCLE TAKI, ANGELO, NIKKI,

her HUSBAND and TWO SONS, 20’s, Nick, Costa, Athena,

Aristotle in a pee-wee hockey jersey carried on the shoulders

of FOUR BROTHERS, ages 18 to 27, plus SEVERAL MALE COUSINS)

comes thundering down the aisle.

IAN:

Did you invite the family?!

(CONTINUED)

16

CONTINUED:
(2)

Toula gasps, realizes she made a mistake.

TOULA:

I told my mom.

Maria pounces on horrified Paris.

MARIA:

Be a dental hygienist! A mother

working two days a week, perfect.

Nikki pulls a COMB from her Hairdressers’s work smock.

NIKKI:

Paris, be a hairdresser like me.

As the family gives their opinions to Paris, Gus nudges Ian,

points to all the BOYS in the family.

GUS:

Ian, look, everyone has boys. You,

one girl. Vegetarian. Slow

sperms.

Maria’s cell rings.

MARIA:

It’s Thea Voula on The Facetimes.

AUNT VOULA, 60’s, appears on Maria’s iPhone.

AUNT VOULA (ON MARIA’S CELL)

I’m on my way, I was at Zumba.

Now Gus and Uncle Taki are on a bench.

GUS:

We need to find Paris a boyfriend.

UNCLE TAKI:

How about Ariana Skoufis’s boy?

GUS:

Everyone from that island has six

toes.

UNCLE TAKI:

Let’s wait until summer, we’ll

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