Muck Page #2

There's no phone.

Whiskey and vodka, but no phone.

- Which did you look for first?

- Lick my clit.

- Cute.

- Oh, that's right.

We already played that game.

Keep talking. I need as many

reasons to live as I can get.

Anyway, if there's no phone,

I'm going to go get some help.

I want to go with you.

Babe, I need you to stay here

so you can fix Billy up

- and make sure Mia's all right.

- I'm fine.

No, you're not fine.

But you will be.

Oh, god. Maybe not. F***.

Babe, I don't like it here.

I'm gonna second that, too.

This trip has been

a total bust so far, bud.

- Okay, well, I'm sorry.

- Lynchburg, Tennessee.

That's where I wanted to go.

Should have gone.

Gone to the Jack Daniel's distillery,

had a cocktail.

Lynchburg lemonade

at the Jack Daniel's distillery.

Maybe a f***ing novelty item,

a t-shirt that says

"I had lemonade

in lynchburg, Tennessee."

That's what I wanted to do. I would have

been happy with a f***ing bottle opener.

Instead, I'm in f***ing Cape Cod.

Walking through the f***ing marsh.

I hate fish and chips.

Yeah, um... yeah, you know

lynchburg, Tennessee, is a dry county?

Thank you, Noah.

You're right.

That would have been lame.

This has been much better.

I'll make sure I pencil it in

next time, Princess.

Yeah. Just pencil that in.

Seriously, babe,

we're still stuck in this empty house

with no phone in the middle

of f***ing nowhere.

- With god knows what out there.

- Billy, you're going to be fine.

You've got half-naked hot chicks

and apparently booze.

Exactly, huh?

This is a f***ing horror movie.

There are five...

way too many of us left.

Des is going to get it first.

She's f***ing hot.

Respectfully,

I want to disrespect that ass,

but I got to do it quick

'cause she's a f***ing goner.

I'm f***ing hurt, so I'm next.

Sh*t.

And, you, f***ing han solo over here,

you're going off for help.

You're not coming back, boss.

Textbook, dude.

- You're a goner.

- You done?

No, I'm not.

Mia... Mia, she's beautiful.

She's f***ing annoying

when she's freaked out.

- She's going to get offed pretty quick.

- Shut up, Billy.

And then there's you, Kylie.

She's sweet.

She's a little sassy, a little bitchy.

She's the girlfriend.

She's moderately dressed.

That means she's a little more classy

than everybody else.

Which means you know

you're not going to see your tits.

- It's in your f***ing contract.

- Shut up, Billy.

This doesn't feel good.

Noah, we're like robbers.

We just broke into this house.

What if the police come?

Babe, I hope the police come,

but unfortunately,

I don't think

we're gonna get that lucky.

I don't even think there's anyone

around here that would call the police.

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