Mrs Henderson Presents Page #3

as barbaric as this.

Welcome to the theatre.

Next!

Very nice, dear.

Buy yourself a decent meal.

Who's the young man at the back?

Ssh! Concentrate on the auditions.

We'll have him.

We will?

We will.

Next!

Why do you keep looking at that boy?

That boy, as you call him,

was the featured performer at the Pavilion.

We snatched him away.

He can be a big help to me.

He's got excellent taste.

He seems to agree

with all of my choices.

Including these

demented pharaohs?

- Book them.

- Right, VD.

Are you mad?

They're not in the least authentic.

And over, over,

step, shuffle, change. Riff, pick up, toe.

Pick up and five, six, seven, eight.

Pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up again.

Maxie Ford and heads up.

Thank you,

ladies. Change over. Quickly, girls!

See what they're like

from the back of the stalls.

Pay attention to their height.

And over. Step, shuffle and change.

Riff, pick up, toe.

Tap, tap, change, pick up, step,

and round, two, three, four.

Pick up, step, pick up, step,

pick up and change.

Maxie Ford and heads up.

Do you find these women attractive?

- Some of them are very pretty.

- Oh, yes, I can certainly see that.

But... do they intrigue you as a man?

- I have other inclinations.

- Oh.

Oh! Oh, how delicious!

And use your backs.

Yes, girls. Next group.

And use your back, girls.

Yes! Last group.

But Mr Van Damm seems to have

an intense appreciation, doesn't he?

Other girls, ready. And!

He's practically sniffing them.

And last group.

- Some of these girls are very good.

- Indeed.

I'm going to call our chorus

The Millerettes.

- Millerettes?

- Mill, as in Windmill.

- What's the "er" for?

- What?

Millerettes. It should be Millettes.

The "er" clogs it up.

- Millettes doesn't scan.

- But it's accurate.

It doesn't sound right.

Millerettes sounds like a man

named Miller has a chorus line.

We're doing a vaudeville,

not a dictionary.

It isn't correct English!

Millerettes is a good name.

And it's not your decision.

In fact, it's got nothing to do with you.

In fact, you shouldn't be in the theatre

until dress rehearsal.

- In fact, I'm going to ban you!

- Don't you dare!

- I'm banning you from all auditions.

- You haven't the right.

- I can do anything I please.

- I shall cancel the opening.

Fine!

- This show will not goon!

- Indeed.

They're ready to start again, VD.

My dear, you must never interrupt

a perfectly good argument.

- I've lost my train of thought.

- So have I.

Come on.

Mustn't keep The Millerettes waiting.

Oh, that name's intolerable.

It suggests midgets

working in a factory.

Millettes sounds like

a medical condition.

Thank you, Mr Van Damm.

Thank you, Mrs Henderson.

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