Mr. Stink Page #2

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You're cleverer than you look,

aren't you?

We are all more than we look.

Be confident, child, fear nobody.

What's wrong at home?

How do you know?

If everything was fine

you wouldn't be spending

your afternoons

with an old vagabond like me.

Mum ripped up my story.

You write stories?

Yeah, but she ripped it up.

I hate her.

Hate is a strong word.

I'm sure your mother loves you.

She's distracted by

the possibility of power.

Megaphones

do very queer things to folk.

Mum only loves my little sister

Annabel.

Annabel's always at some

stupid class or other.

Archery, ice dancing,

Arabic, ski-jumping,

and that's just this morning.

Right now she'll be at ballet.

My ballet dancing days are over.

I fear I shall never dance

'Giselle' again!

I was actually rather good.

But you know my and The Duchess's

views on children.

But it can't be easy

being your little sister.

Oh, no, it's Pippa!

"...No-one hires a pink limo

for birthdays anymore."

And he's all, "really?"

I mean, my dad, he's such a...

Oh, Chloe?

Who's this, your new boyfriend?

You must be Pippa.

Yeah.

Does anyone call you Pippa Pig?

No.

They should.

You stink!

I think you'll find...

Ooh, one moment.

Buuuuurp!

My apologies. There's never

any excuse for belching.

Must be the coffee repeating on me.

Some people think homeless people

should be driven off the streets.

And I think some streetless people

should be driven off their homes.

You don't need to be homeless.

You could come and live in our shed.

No, the Duchess and I

need the open road,

a ceiling of stars, fresh air and...

Mind you, it is ruddy cold today.

Maybe just for the night.

Such unimaginable kindness.

Sorry, it's just a shed,

but at least it gets you

off the streets for a while.

There's no en-suite,

but there is a bucket.

A bucket, very la-di-da!

Oh!

Serpents of Doom?

It's my dad! He never told me

he was in a rock band.

I'm afraid I don't follow

the hit parade.

Why's it all burned?

And why did he never tell me?

We all have our secrets, Miss Chloe.

"D"?

Yes, this belonged to my friend,

Dave.

Good old Dave. Where is Dave now?

With his huge head and...

It says Darlington

on the other side.

What's your secret, Mr Stink?

How did you end up living on the

streets? Are you an escaped convict?

No. A spy?

A billionaire who lost all his money

at a casino playing top trumps?

No, but you should put that

in a story. Most amusing.

Are you running away? I'm not

telling you, so please be quiet!

Right. I'm ready for

my afternoon tea now.

I'm sorry?

Earl Grey, a selection of

sandwiches, scones with plum jam

and Cornish clotted cream.

I've got half a Milky Way

from Raj's shop.

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