Moving Violations

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1

- Good morning, Chief Fromm.

- Good morning.

- Halik.

- Yes, sir?

I thought it over.

I'm gonna recommend you

for that promotion.

Yes, sir.

That's very good news, sir.

Your record's unblemished.

You deserve it, Halik.

Yes, sir.

Now if you excuse me, sir,

I have to make my daily

quota of citations, sir.

Of course.

- See you around, Halik.

- Have a good day, sir.

What a tight ass.

- What did the Chief say?

- Hmm.

- I got my promotion.

- Good.

By the way,

I got my period.

Whoo!

Whoo-hoo!

- I feel good

- Whoa-oa-oa

I feel good...

- Ah-hoo!

- I feel good

I feel, I feel

- I feel good

- Whoa-oa-oa

I feel, I feel good

- I feel good

- I feel good

- Knew that I would

- I knew that I would, now

I feel good!

- Like sugar and spice

- I knew that I would

- So good, so good

- So good, so good

- I have you

- I have you

I feel good

I feel, I feel

I feel good,

ha-ha

I feel nice

- Sugar and spice

- Like sugar and spice

I feel nice...

sugar and spice

So good, so good, I got you

I feel good

I feel good, good

When I hold you in my arms

You know you can't

do me no wrong

When I hold you in my arms

- Your love can't

do me no harm

So nice, sugar and spice

I feel nice

Like sugar and spice

Feel good

I feel good, good

I feel so good,

I feel, I feel

I feel good

Whoo!

I feel so good.

Oh, great.

- Problem, officer?

- You littered back there.

- I did?

- Mm-hmm.

Oh, you mean that apple?

I can explain that.

I was driving along

and hit this bump

in the road.

- The apple

bounced out of my hand.

- Never mind the song and dance.

Your driver's license

and registration, please.

Now wait a minute,

I hit this bump on the road,

the apple bounced.

It was right in my hand.

It bounced right out

the door.

Your driver's license

and registration, please.

You got it.

Let's see...

here we go.

- What is this?

- Oh,

that's my communist party

membership card.

I just joined

for the softball league.

Only team in the league

with cheerleaders.

Big fun.

Here we go.

- Is this you?

- Oh, yeah.

I photograph

a whole lot better

than I look.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Wait a minute,

you're really serious?

- You're really gonna

give me a ticket?

- I certainly am.

- For an apple.

- From the looks

of this vehicle,

I'm gonna write you

several tickets.

Several tickets?

Look, why don't we

just make this easy?

Why don't you just

pistol-whip me, okay?

If you don't

keep your mouth shut,

we're gonna deliver you

- right down

to the station-house.

- Fine.

Anything you say, sir.

I'm not a sir, I'm a ma'am.

Really?

Well, one of you should

wear a ponytail 'cause this

could get really confusing.

Come on, I don't go sniffing

around your things, do I?

- What is this powder?

- Fertilizer.

- Shit!

- Exactly.

You're in big trouble

now, mister.

Big trouble.

Oh, I can't believe

I'm taking up bowling.

I've never done

any kind of sport

in my life.

I'm sure you'll

enjoy it, ma'am.

Here's my car.

My doctor says I need exercise,

but I'm sick.

"I got a bad heart,"

I says to him.

Let me get this trunk for you.

Oh, I don't know

how I'm gonna

get these balls

out of here.

So anyways, he thinks

I'm a hypochondriac.

Yeah, how can I be

a hypochondriac when

I'm sick all the time?

If I die while bowling,

it's his fault.

Oh my god,

I'm three minutes late

for my pills!

Oh god! Am I dead?

I'm dead!

One cantaloupe...

$97.00

Jamie, come sit

on grandpa's lap.

I think I broke it.

- This is all I need.

- Yes, ma'am.

My fine friend, it certainly

is a fine day, is it not?

A fine day

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