Motivational Growth Page #2

You fail at driving? Dead.

You fail at crossing the street? Dead.

You fail at preparing certain forms

of pacific rim seafood? Neuro-toxic shock

a pretty wild, pre-death state, but then, dead.

What happens if you fail at suicide?

You fail at death itself.

Me, that's what.

At least I've got Kent.

(tv explodes)

F***!

(dialing phone)

Yes, hello, I'm looking for someone

to come fix my television.

No, no, yes, no well, you see it's an old

sort of thing, no I don't think plasma

was even invented at the time, no,

wait what even is plasma?

I just need to find a place to get this fixed,

can you get me that?

ATV repair place, thank you.

Hi there, my TV is out and

I need someone to come fix it.

I have no idea what plasma even is,

so I don't think so, I don't know,

I'd have to ask my dad, but he's dead, so.

Look it's like a cabinet with a TV in it.

It's something you'd imagine

microwave TV dinners were invented for.

It's old, it's made from wood.

Tree wood. From trees.

My uncle used to call it "The Commodore",

l always just called him Kent.

You know "The Commodore" like

in the navy or star fleet or something.

Today would be best, yeah.

I don't know, anytime between

now and tomorrow works for me.

Sure, it's Ian Folliver,

606 South Brightmore number 108.

No, yeah - I'll be here.

That front door and I have a bit of a thing

in so much that I've pretty much

stayed away from it unless

there was pizza on the other side.

There's this kind of forcefield

keeping me from going through there.

A force-of-will field.

Out there it's f***ing crazy.

You could get killed out there.

(tv noises)

The Mold:
Lookin' good, Jack!

Ian:
What.The. F***.

The Mold:
You planning on staying conscious this time?

Ian:
I may not be conscious now.

The Mold:
Oh you are, Jack

More so than before, in fact.

The Mold would say you're nearly enlightened.

At a precipice. A turning point.

And The Mold heard you on the horn, you know.

The Mold thinks you're making a mistake.

Ian:
I think talking to the grime is a mistake.

I think thinking the grime is

talking to me is a mistake.

How much of that sh*t did I inhale?

The Mold:
Too much, not nearly enough.

That's not really the question you want

to ask, Jack. That's not an answer you want to hear.

Ian:
The answer I want to hear

is that you're nut talking to me right now.

That the f***ing scum-

The Mold:
Fungus!

Ian:
fungus, is not f***ing

correcting my vocabulary.

The Mold:
Come here, Jack

Ian:
My name is Ian!

The Mold:
The Mold knows, Jack. Come here.

Ian:
I don't think you do know,

because you keep calling me "Jack".

The Mold:
Closer.

Ian:
You seem pretty pretty pissed

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