Moscow On The Hudson Page #4

The men's room is downstairs,

to the left of the escalator.

This ain't no health club.

- I defect.

- Say what?

Don't be grabbing on the uniform.

I have to supply the threads myself.

I defected.

You're not gonna do that here.

I told you where the men's room was.

Maybe I better take him.

I am Russian.

- I defect.

- You're about ready to get maced.

Oh, my God! Don't you get it?

He's defecting!

Code 2. We got a defection going on.

Style Boutique. Officer 14 on the scene.

Call the damn police!

You son of a b*tch!

Please, help me.

- Are you the one defecting?

- Yes, I in danger, KGB. Please.

I think it's safe.

I know the Russian is behind the counter.

Give him my card.

My name is Orlando Ramirez.

I'm a lawyer. I specialize in immigration.

You've got a lawyer.

Thank you.

Are you enjoying yourself?

Excuse me.

Get up. Stay here. Stay right here.

This is Officer 14.

The defector is between Este Lauder

and Pierre Cardin.

Officer, you must help me.

I want political asylum.

- I am a security officer, not a policeman.

- They will send me to a mental hospital.

- Who are these dudes?

- KGB. They will kill me.

- We are Soviet officials.

- Keep your hands off the man.

- Don't threaten me!

- I got Mace and handcuffs.

If that don't dissuade you,

I got a 6-inch razor that will end this talk.

Stay put until the authorities get here.

Call the embassy!

I want to keep my comrade

from making a big mistake.

I told you to back off!

You're in my jurisdiction which runs from

Style Boutique to Personal Fragrances.

So keep your hands off the man!

- What's going on here, Mr. Simpson?

- I don't know.

- Don't blame me. I was on the floor.

- Who knows?

Some Russian is running around

talking about defection.

We don't like that at Bloomingdale's,

and it's up to you to keep order.

Everybody on the bus.

Everybody back on the bus.

In the name of the Soviet Union, I protest.

This Soviet citizen has been drugged.

- I am not drugged.

- He's being held against his will.

Nobody is smoking no sh*t around here.

I've had it with you guys today.

Back off!

I'm Kaity Tong at Bloomingdale's

with a drama in American-Soviet relations.

Things are chaotic here,

but this is what we know so far:

Apparently, a member of the Russian

circus troupe, performing in New York...

...has decided to defect in,

of all places, Bloomie's.

Vladimir, I trusted you.

Now you do this to your family and to me.

You know what my life will be now?

Vladimir, have mercy.

You are a Russian.

Please, I will give you everything I own.

My sweet Volodnishka, please.

You will never see your parents

or your sister. Your grandfather...

... never.

I defect.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes