Monster House

Synopsis: The teenage DJ is observing his neighbor Nebbercracker on the other side of their street in the suburb that destroys tricycles of children that trespass his lawn. When DJ's parents travel on the eve of Halloween and the abusive nanny Zee stays with him, he calls his clumsy best friend Chowder to play basketball. But when the ball falls in Nebbercracker's lawn, the old man has a siege, and soon they find that the house is a monster. Later the boys rescue the smart Jenny from the house and the trio unsuccessfully tries to convince the babysitter, her boyfriend Bones and two police officers that the haunted house is a monster, but nobody believes them. The teenagers ask their video-game addicted acquaintance Skull how to destroy the house, and they disclose its secret on the Halloween night.
Director(s): Gil Kenan
Production: Sony Pictures Releasing
  Nominated for 1 Oscar. Another 4 wins & 22 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.6
Metacritic:
68
Rotten Tomatoes:
74%
PG
Year:
2006
91 min
$73,661,010
Website
4,085 Views

Hello, fence.

Hello, leaves.

Hello, sky.

Get off my lawn!

Trespasser.

Do you want to be eaten alive?

-No.

-Then get out of here!

My trike.

Stay away from my house!

-DJ!

-We're gonna be late.

Yeah, Mom, l'm coming.

l'm coming.

October 30th, another tricycle.

l'm coming.

Mom.

Mom, he did it again.

He took another tricycle.

Okay, honey,

we've talked about this.

You cannot stay up

in your room all day...

...staring at an old man

through a telescope.

But, Mom, there's something wrong

with that house.

l'm serious.

What was that?

l'm serious.

His voice sounds funny.

Someone is hitting puberty.

''What's happening to my body?''

Right, buddy?

Maybe you should come with us.

Oh, the boy's too busy.

He's got his spying to do.

l'm not spying.

Well...

''Well...'' That's okay, buddy.

When l was your age,

l did exactly the same thing.

Of course, it was with binoculars

and involved the lovely Jensen twins.

Neither of which was as lovely

as your beautiful mother.

Will you be an angel

and help me bring out the incisor?

-The incisor.

-Hold this.

Yeah, you don't wanna forget that.

Elizabeth will be here

in a few hours.

lf anything happens,

call the police and hide.

He knows that.

See you tomorrow night.

-What have you done?

-Just let me drive this thing, will you?

-Where is DJ? Where's DJ?

-l'm fine.

You would be so happy

if he was under the car, wouldn't you?

Sorry. lt's hard to see

with the mask on.

Then why don't you keep it off,

Chowder?

Why did you put up your window?

-Chowder.

-lt's aerodynamic.

-Hi, DJ.

-We've got to make time.

The children. The children.

-What children?

-Bye-bye, baby.

-Tell him you love him, dear.

-He knows that.

-Tell your son you love him.

-l don't wanna tell him.

-He knows l love him.

-He's your son.

-You have to say it. Roll it down.

-We're gonna be late.

We both love you.

-That includes your dad.

-That's right.

-He's had enough kisses.

-Blow him a kiss.

-Blow him a kiss.

-Goodbye.

Cheer up.

lt's almost Halloween.

ln one day and three hours,

it's candy time.

Okay?

-Check it out, l got a new ball.

-Cool.

Oh, speaking of which,

have you decided?

Skullzor or Crypt Keeper?

Chowder.

l don't think l'm going

trick-or-treating this year.

What?

Come on, you're gonna break

a six-year streak.

Yeah, six years of being jumped

and egged.

Maybe l'm getting too grown-up.

Three seconds on the clock.

l'm playing basketball.

lt's time

for an in-your-face disgrace.

-Are you okay?

-My nose is in my brains.

Let me see. Oh, my God.

-What?

-You're a dork.

Where's my ball?

Oh, no.

-Sorry, man.

-Wait, wait. DJ.

You're a grownup now,

you go get it.

Chowder, your ball just landed

on Nebbercracker's lawn.

lt doesn't exist anymore.

l paid $28 for that ball.

l raked 10 yards and asked my mom

for a dollar 26 times.

l never worked that hard in my life--

Nebbercracker hasn't come out yet.

-So?

-So maybe he's sleeping.

All right, l'll do it.

l'll never forget this. Hurry, though.

Go.

You.

-No.

-DJ, run!

Get the ball and run!

You're so close.

What have you done?

-Just nudge it over here.

-l'm so sorry.

Oh, l'm so, so, so sorry.

l didn't mean--

You are dead.

DJ, come on, come on!

-Chowder.

-Come on, DJ.

Help. Chowder.

Help. Help.

-You think you can terrorize my lawn?

-No, l'm sorry.

-You wanna be a dead person?

-No. l love life.

This place is not

a playground for children.

-Got it from now on.

-This is my house!

Why can't you respect that?

Why can't you

just stay away from--?

Push.

No siren. Never a good sign.

Rate this script:(5.00 / 1 vote)

Dan Harmon

Daniel Harmon (born January 3, 1973) is an American writer, producer, and actor. Harmon created and produced the NBC sitcom Community, co-created the Adult Swim animated series Rick and Morty, and co-founded the alternative television network/website Channel 101. Harmon published the book You'll Be Perfect When You're Dead in 2013. He also hosts a weekly eponymous podcast, Harmontown. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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