Monkey Shines Page #3

Clinical snake in the grass?

- Come on, Geoffrey...

- And you? You clinical c*nt.

OK, Scooter. Come on now. Drink. Drink.

OK. Put your baby to bed. Drink.

No, not for baby. Drink for me.

Good girl. Open.

Change. Good girl.

Good girl. Change. Open.

Open. Good girl. Straw.

Good girl! Good girl.

- (car horn)

- Hey, company's here.

Let's go. Cage. Good girl.

Yeah. Get in the cage. Come on, honey.

Get in the cage. Come on. Cage.

Yes. Yes. Good girl!

- Hi. I'm Melanie.

- Hi. Geoffrey Fisher. Nice to meet you.

- What a fabulous place you have here.

- Thanks. I'm lucky to have it.

- You wanna come in or stay out here?

- I'll stay out.

Although my system may go into shock -

all it ever gets is fluorescent light.

So you train monkeys?

Exclusively for quadriplegics?

There's no time for anything else -

the programme's so popular.

As I told you on the phone, I have a friend

who would be a terrific candidate for this.

There are a lot of candidates. All

my monkeys are already assigned homes.

How about if I were to donate a monkey?

One from the lab at the college?

Has to be a female.

Males are too unsanitary.

They go around peeing

to mark their territory.

I know. I've had my share of drenchings.

It's all right. This one is a female.

Well, I suppose if you're willing to supply

the animal, it comes down to my time.

- I could pay you. I don't have much...

- No. I draw a salary from a grant.

It's just squeezing them in.

Starting a monkey from scratch

is a long process.

This monkey's pretty well conditioned.

She's very bright.

She's already been through

a lot of behavioural training.

It sounds too good to be true.

She's normal? She hasn't been exposed

to anything weird in the lab?

No. She gets a med check every day.

She's 100%.

(doorbell)

Hey, Ace. I set you up with a blind date.

I hope you don't think

she's too much of a gorilla.

My God! Get away from her, you little!

I'm Melanie Parker. You're Allan? Of

course - you're the only one sitting down.

What the hell is going on here?

She's all yours, Ace. A present.

You serious? You're giving me a monkey?

- How am I supposed to take care of her?

- It's gonna take care of you.

Wait till you see what she can do.

Melanie's been training her.

Here we go. Look at this. Oh...

- Good girl.

- Thank you.

She's looking for her reward.

I'll attach a gizmo to your chair

for dispensing these.

- What's her name?

- Number six.

That's a sh*t name.

She's a capuchin - Cebus Apella.

I've been calling her Ella.

Ella, huh? It's a little better.

- Hi. I'm Melanie. You're Allan's nurse?

- God has given me that burden, yes.

Could you give me a hand?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes