Money for Nothing Page #4

You get five years?

Yeah, for findin'

some money

What are you,

the attorney general?

If I found that loot...

all them garbage cans up there,

I wouldn't have to be pickin'

out of'em no more

I'd order me up limousines

two feet longer than anybody else's

I'd build me a house

way up on top of the hill

And they'd say, "Man, you live up there?"

I'd say, "Yeah, I live up there"

They'd say, "How you live

way up there?" I'd say, "Man,

it could happen to any of us"

- You know what I mean? Heck, yeah

- That's a hundred dollar bill

Whoa!

If I found a million dollars,

I'd buy more shoes than Imelda Marcos

- The rest I'd probably waste

- Not me

I got a condo I can't sell

The bank's gonna repossess it

I got a Porsche I can't drive

The insurance is too high

I got a girlfriend who likes to drive

through the south of France

and drink

ten dollar cappuccinos

If I found a million dollars, I'd put it

up as collateral to get out of debt

- then borrow more money.

- dd

There's a gentlemen

staring at you

- Oh, yeah?

- I think so

Do you know what you could buy

for $12 million?

- I'm gonna come back

and have a drink later

- Okay

Could I have a vodka and cranberry?

Stoli, with three limes

I was sitting here

a minute ago

- Can I get a Rolling Rock?

- We only carry imported

- All right, run a tab.

- Okay I need a credit card

I'm applyin' for one

It's okay

dd

How's everythin'

goin' at the bank?

Joe, get it right We're not a bank

We're an investment firm

- I thought we decided

not to see each other anymore

- Yeah, we did

Come on, Monica, I know

you think I'm here-

I don't need a glass

I know you think I'm gonna try to talk

you into sleeping with me

And that we're gonna get back

together and then we're gonna

break up It's gonna be a mess

I just need your help...

in an area of your expertise.

Expertise in what,Joe?

Money

Money?

Here's a question, seriously

Is there a way for a guy

like me, a guy who's stuck

to walk into your firm

and invest a big chunk of change?

A million cash,you know.

Whatever. What kind of

questions are they gonna ask?

What kind of questions?

They'll need to see picture ID,

your social security number

- That's all I need?

- If it's less than $10,000

Anything in excess, we're required

to notify the Treasury Department

Is there a way for me,

you know, and you maybe, to

move around the commas and

the zeroes so that the IRS

doesn't find out about it?

Joe,

a guy like you is never gonna

walk into my office with a million cash

All right

I mean, who you kidding?

Look at you, you're still wearin' the

same clothes as the last time I saw you

Check, please

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