
Mixed Nuts
- PG-13
- Year:
- 1994
- 97 min
- 424 Views
1
I'm dreaming
Of a white Christmas
Just like the ones
I used to know
And children listen
To hear
Sleigh bells in the snow
The snow
But then I, I, I'm dreaming
Of a white Christmas
With every
Christmas card I write
May your days May
your days May your days
Be merry and bright
And may all
your Christmases be white
I, I, I, I'm dreaming
Of a white Christmas
Just like the ones
I used to know
Where the treetops glisten
And the children listen
To hear
Sleigh bells in the snow
I, I, I, I'm dreaming
Of a white Christmas
With every
Christmas card I write.
May those days May your
days May your days
Be merry and bright
Ooh, ooh, ooh
And may all
Your Christmases be white
Felix, come back here!
You don't deserve to be
the father of my child!
Come back here
You jerk! You ruined our tree!
That tree was
absolutely symmetrical!
It took us two hours to find it!
It was perfect!
Nothing's perfect, you cretins!
Stop yelling. You're gonna
send her into labor.
She's going into labor now! She is not!
She's only seven months pregnant!
All right, stop it!
It's Christmas!
It was an accident. Show a little Christmas spirit.
You owe us 40 bucks!
Touch me and I'll sue you
for a million dollars!
I'm sure Santa will repay you.
It was 50 bucks, okay?
We can't even afford to have our baby.
Now look what you did!
Mind your own business, Mister!
You drove him away!
This is my business. My
business is helping people.
Well, you know what?
Merry Christmas!
You have reached
the office of Lifesavers.
All lines are busy.
If you are truly on the verge of suicide and
calling from a touch-tone phone, press one.
If you are merely depressed,
stay on the line. A friendly
voice will be with you shortly.
What am I supposed to do? I
don't have a touch-tone phone.
Suppose I was on
the verge of suicide?
- Merry Christmas. Lifesavers.
- How may we help you?
I haven't slept for days.
I'm terrified of
the Seaside Strangler.
I know he's going to get me.
Do you fit the physical
description of his victims?
Are you a very attractive
woman with long, dark hair?
Not really.
Although, how long
do you think is "long"?
At least to your shoulders.
I can't stop worrying
about the planet.
And what is it about Janet
that is worrying you?
Not Janet, the planet.
Would you click your phone?
There's some static on the line.
You know, dear, just click
Hmm!
We're not permitted to divulge the
personal details of our lives,
but I can assure you
I know what you're feeling.
Do you live alone too?
I live with my mother.
That's all I can say.
Catherine, you're not supposed
to tell them about yourself.
with my mother.
That's something to remember.
No matter how bleak things are,
at least you don't live
with your mother.
Thank you for calling and don't hesitate
to call again. Merry Christmas.
May I click for you?
I don't think so,
Mrs. Munchnik.
That person wasn't suicidal,
only depressed.
But if he or she
had not spoken with you,
he or she might have become
suicidal, mightn't they?
And where do you
suppose Philip is?
I'm sure he'll be here shortly.
Playing around, probably.
That's very unfair. Philip
is completely true to Susan.
Men are not true to anything.
They will have sex with a tree.
If you look out the window, you'll see him
pulling up on his bicycle at any moment.
with all of my dead
husband's relatives.
I am not someone
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Citation
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"Mixed Nuts" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 25 Feb. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/mixed_nuts_13897>.