Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters Page #4

I guess so.

This nail polish sure chips easy.

These damn legs.

I pay too much attention

to my face,

but what about my body?

If only I were more muscular...

like a matador.

Then my whole body

could be my face.

That's not very realistic.

I'm going to take up

bodybuilding.

I mean it.

Oh no, you don't.

Then you'll have

more girls chasing you.

Who were you with last night?

Come on, tell me who.

Someone new?

All right, muscle man.

You are a weakling!

Cut it out.

I'll be your mirror.

This is your hair.

This is your face.

This is your breast.

See? Isn't this better

than a mirror?

My life is in many ways

like that of an actor.

I also wear a mask.

I play a role.

When he looks in the mirror,

the homosexual, like the actor,

sees what he fears most.:

the decay of the body.

What's this?

You're so flabby.

Ah, it's you.

What happened?

Suddenly you just...

Don't worry.

It's nothing.

Please tell me,

or I'll never calm down.

I'm calling from nearby.

I'll see you in 15 minutes.

Tell me.

I must know.

Both you and I have

a strong sense of aesthetics.

When you look in the mirror,

you see beauty.

I can't even look at myself.

So don't make jokes

like that again.

As the ship approached Hawaii,

I felt as if I'd emerged from a cave

and shook hands with the sun.

I'd always suffered

under a monstrous sensitivity.

What I lacked was health -

a healthy body, a physical presence.

Words had separated me

from my body.

The sun released me.

Greece cured my self-hatred

and awoke a will to health.

I saw that beauty and ethics

were one and the same.

Creating a beautiful work of art and

becoming beautiful oneself are identical.

I obtained physical health

after becoming an adult.

Such people are different

from those born healthy.

We feel we have the right

to be insensitive to trivial concerns.

The loss of self through sex

gives us little satisfaction.

Natsuo-chan!

Osamu!

Where have you been?

I've become a bodybuilder.

How about you?

Still painting?

Still at it.

You mean Natsuo Yamagata?

Landscapes?

I've seen some of them.

At least you don't attempt

to paint human bodies.

Forgive his bluntness.

Takei and I

were just talking about art.

And what did you decide?

I got interested because of the way

Michelangelo and Rodin

treated the human body.

The human body

is the work of art.

It doesn't need artists.

Okay, let's say you're right.

What good does

your sweating and grunting do?

Even the most beautiful body

is soon destroyed by age.

Where is beauty then?

Only art makes

human beauty endure.

You must devise

an artist's scheme to preserve it.

You must commit suicide

at the height of your beauty.

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