Mike Tyson: Undisputed Truth

---

We have

# Say what?

# A whole lot

of superstars #

# On this stage

here tonight #

# But I want y'all

to know one thing #

# This is my house

# And when I say,

"Whose house?" #

# Y'all know

what time it is #

# Whose house?

# Run's house

# Once again, my friend,

not a trend for then #

# They said rap was crap,

but never had this band #

# Till the ruler came

with a cooler name #

# Made you dance and prance

and drove the fans insane #

# Name is Run, my son,

number one for fun #

# Not a gun that's done

and get done by none #

# The other act, in fact,

is just whack I kill #

- # Why? - # It's fun, my son,

and Run heads the bill #

# Whose house?

# Run's house.

( people cheering )

( music playing )

( applause )

Nat King Cole:

# There was a boy

# A very strange,

enchanted boy #

# They say he wandered

very far #

# Very far

# Over land and sea

# A little shy

# And sad of eye

# But very wise

# Was he

# And then one day

# A magic day

he passed my way #

# And while we spoke

of many things #

# Fools and kings

# This he said to me

# The greatest thing

# You'll ever learn

# Is just to love

# And be loved

# In return.

( strobes popping )

Thank you for coming out tonight

and welcome to my living room.

( applause )

This is gonna be

interesting.

This is gonna be a fun night,

I can see.

I know many of you

are probably wondering,

"What the hell

is Mike Tyson gonna do

up here onstage

tonight," right?

And, frankly, I'm wondering

the same thing, too.

As you know, the name of my

show is "The Undisputed Truth. "

I personally wanted

to name it

"Boxing, B*tches,

and Lawsuits... Plus a Baby. "

You know?

But my wife and attorney,

they absolutely freaked

and I couldn't go

that way.

But, you know,

life is great.

You know, I really

can't complain these days.

I'm just very grateful that

life has come full circle for me.

Many of you may remember

I'm the guy

that used to knock motherfuckers

out in less than 30 seconds.

( cheering )

Thank you.

And I'll knock a motherf***er

out tonight, too,

if sh*t get out of...

I'm kidding.

No, I'm domesticated now

with kids.

Lawsuits.

But now I'm here in New

York City. My hometown.

At the Imperial Theatre

to entertain you all.

I actually did my show here on

Broadway last summer for the first time.

Many people thought this was my

first time on Broadway, but it wasn't.

I actually got arrested on

this same block right here.

Many years ago, though.

Many years ago.

I like to say that arrest was one

of those defining moments for me.

If I hadn't gotten arrested

on that particular night,

I wouldn't have went to that

Spofford Juvenile Detention Center.

And if I never went

to that detention center,

I would never have

met my mentor.

If I never met my mentor,

of course,

I would never have been the

youngest heavyweight champion

- in the history of boxing.

- ( cheering )

That's true.

So I really have to thank

that really nice New York City

police officer

that was kind enough to arrest that

badass black kid from Brooklyn, of course.

But New York

has changed a lot, huh?

Especially this whole

Broadway-Times Square area.

Like Disney World

up in this motherf***er.

I remember when

it looked like a war zone

for drug addicts, pimps,

and prostitutes.

You know, Koch was the mayor

then, of course.

And I couldn't walk down

the street

without a pervert

flashing his dick at me

or somebody trying

to sell me something.

Wanted that sh*t

and didn't even buy.

And this neighborhood

became a prime robbing location

for me

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