Me and Mrs Jones script
Me and Mrs Jones  Season #1 Episode #6 (2012)
Synopsis: Me and Mrs Jones is a British comedy about the life of a woman named Gemma Jones. The first series began on 12 October 2012 on BBC One. It stars Sarah Alexander and Neil Morrissey. On 10 December 2012, it was announced that the comedy would not return for a second series.

1 INT. GEMMA’S BATHROOM. MORNING 1

CHARLOTTE and JESS are in their school uniforms, GEMMA looks

scruffy and is trying to tie her hair in a pony tail. They

are all looking down the toilet. JESS is holding a fish bowl

looking worried.

CHARLOTTE:

Sorry mum, I just thought Nemo

would like to go for a swim

somewhere new.

GEMMA:

I’m not sure he wants to swim in

the sewage pipes Charlotte.

JESS beckons the fish out of the toilet like you would a cat,

sucking her lips making kiss noises.

JESS:

Come on Nemo. Come on...

GEMMA:

Oh mind out... (GEMMA plunges her

hand down the loo)... Wrestling a

goldfish first thing in the...

Gotcha!

GEMMA pulls her hand out fast and plops a goldfish into the

fish bowl JESS is holding.

JESS:

(Kisses the fish bowl) Nemo...

what an adventure you’ve been on!

GEMMA (CONT’D)

Right quick sticks or we’ll be

late.

MUSIC starts and they all exit to head downstairs...

INTO...

1A INT. GEMMA’S LIVING ROOM. MORNING. 1A

CHARLOTTE comes downstairs first heading for her lunch box at

the bottom of the stairs.

CHARLOTTE:

Mum if Jesus hadn’t died how old

would he be now?

GEMMA follows her down the stairs.

GEMMA:

I don’t know.... Coats on, grab

your bags.

Me & Mrs. Jones - Episode One - Shooting Script - 17.05.2012

2.

CHARLOTTE:

Because you can’t add up?

CHARLOTTE has opened her pack lunch in an attempt to eat it.

GEMMA:

No (slams CHARLOTTE’S lunch box

closed) and can you not eat your

pack lunch before school please.

GEMMA grabs bags, football kits and coats etc as JESS comes

down stairs still holding the fish bowl.

JESS:

Poppy’s getting a bosom bra can I

have one?

GEMMA:

No.

CHARLOTTE:

You don’t really need a bosom bra

do you mummy?

JESS:

Can Nemo come to dads tonight?

CHARLOTTE goes out the front door followed by GEMMA.

INTO:

2 EXT. GEMMA’S HOUSE. MORNING. 2

The POST WOMAN is at the gate as GEMMA and CHARLOTTE come

out.

GEMMA:

No. And don’t drag your bag

Charlotte.

POST WOMAN:

Morning Mrs. Jones.

She hands the post to CHARLOTTE there is a post card from

China which CHARLOTTE looks at. JESS comes out the front

door still carrying the fish bowl.

CHARLOTTE:

It’s from Alfie in China mum!

GEMMA:

... now come on... Just get in

please or we’ll be late.

Me & Mrs. Jones - Episode One - Shooting Script - 17.05.2012

3.

As JESS talks they head down the path towards the car. The

POST WOMAN is with them as they are herded by GEMMA who then

heads to the front of the car.

JESS:

Is it today or tomorrow for Alfie

in China mum? I mean it can’t be

tomorrow because that hasn’t

happened yet. Unless our brother is

Doctor Who? Is he mum?

As GEMMA rushes to the front of the car CHARLOTTE starts to

shout relentlessly from inside the car........

CHARLOTTE:

Mum Mum Mum....!

GEMMA:

(Gets in the car) What?

CHARLOTTE:

I need to do my maths homework or

Mrs Collier says I’ll lose my

golden time.

GEMMA:

You can do it at your dads tonight.

JESS:

Mum I like how the light makes the

fur above your lip glow.

CHARLOTTE:

But its due in today.

GEMMA:

(She looks in the mirror at

CHARLOTTE) Brilliant....

As she looks in her mirror GEMMA sees the POST WOMAN sitting

between CHARLOTTE and JESS who has the fish bowl on her lap.

As the TWINS chatter on GEMMA gets out the car and opens the

door letting the POST WOMAN out. She then gets the fish bowl

and puts it in the POST WOMAN’S hands.

CHARLOTTE:

Chloe Bryant is bringing her dad’s

pants in for show and tell today.

JESS:

Ergh that’s disgusting.

CHARLOTTE:

I know - she’ll get a penalty point

for that.

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Oriane Messina

Oriane Messina is a British comedy writer and performer, best known for her work in the sketch show Smack the Pony and the sitcom Green Wing. She has had a working partnership with fellow writer Fay Rusling since 1999. In 2007, she appeared briefly as a nurse in sitcom Not Going Out. more…

All Oriane Messina scripts | Oriane Messina Books

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"Me and Mrs Jones" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2017. Web. 14 Dec. 2017. <http://www.scripts.com/script/me_and_mrs_jones_1038>.

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