Maskerade Page #2

 
IMDB:
7.4
Year:
2009
165 min
51 Views


- WHAT THE HELL

DOES THAT MEAN?

- IT MEANS I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE

THAT'S BOUNCING AROUND.

OPEN IT.

- "TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE,

"THE ONE THAT I WANT TO BE

MY WIFE.

"I KNOW IT DOESN'T LOOK

LIKE MUCH,

"BUT I HAVE

AN EXTRAORDINARY HUNCH

"THAT IF WE FIX THIS UP,

"WITH ANY LUCK, WE'LL SELL I FOR A MILLION BUCKS.

THEN WE CAN RETIRE

AND HAVE SEX ALL THE TIME."

REALLY?

- I KNOW THAT LAST LINE

DIDN'T RHYME,

BUT IT CAME FROM THE HEART.

THERE'S ANOTHER PIECE OF PAPER

IN THERE.

- YOU SIGNED MY NAME?

- YOU ARE A HOMEOWNER.

- I AM A HOMEOWNER.

- IT'S A PROPERTY INVESTMENT.

I'VE BEEN LOOKING EVERY DAY

SINCE DECEMBER,

AND I FOUND IT ONLINE.

SO I DROVE UP HERE, AND I MADE

AN OFFER THAT DAY.

AND, LOOK, I KNOW IT'S NO YOUR DREAM HOUSE,

BUT IT'S BIG,

AND IT COMES:

WITH A LOT OF LAND.

- HOW MUCH LAND?

- 40 ACRES.

- WOW.

- I ASKED THEM IF THEY COULD

THROW IN A MULE,

BUT NO DICE.

- NO DICE.

- IF WE MARKET IT RIGHT,

WE COULD FLIP THIS HOUSE,

AND WE COULD MAKE

A LOT OF MONEY:

PAY OFF OUR STUDENT LOANS,

AND WE COULD DO THE WEDDING

IN HAWAII.

- I WAS HOPING FOR A RING.

I WAS.

BUT THIS IS VERY ROMANTIC

IN A VERY WEIRD KIND OF WAY.

- EXACTLY WHAT I WAS HOPING

YOU WERE GOING TO SAY.

- OH...

I HAVE TO CALL HILLARY.

OH, MY GOODNESS.

TELL HER WE GOT A HOUSE.

- [laughs]

OH, THAT'S THE ONE THING:

SHITTY CELL SERVICE.

- YEAH, SEE, I KNEW IT WAS

TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE.

- HEY, STOP IT!

- I'M OUT!

[laughing]

- WHAT DID YOU PAY

FOR THIS PLACE?

- 10 GRAND.

- 10 GRAND.

- EVERYTHING IN MY SAVINGS.

- THAT'S, LIKE, FREE.

WHY?

- BECAUSE THIS IS

THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE,

AND NO ONE ELSE WANTS TO BE

OUT HERE.

- [laughing]

I'M SORRY I WAS SUCH A B*TCH.

I'M SORRY.

I'VE JUST BEEN STRESSED OU AND...

- HEY, IT'S OKAY.

AT LEAST WE HAVE EACH OTHER.

- THAT BETTER BE ENOUGH,

BECAUSE WITH A HOUSE

IN BUMFUCK, EGYPT,

WE REALLY DON'T HAVE

MUCH CHOICE.

- JUST WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE

THE REST OF IT.

DON'T MESS WITH A GUY

THAT'S IN LOVE, ALL RIGHT?

- [laughs]

[ominous music]

[clamoring]

GOT IT?

WOW.

LOOK AT THIS PLACE.

THIS IS EXCITING, BABE.

- YEAH.

YEAH.

- I'M READY.

- HOPEFULLY OUR KEY'S

GOING TO WORK.

- OOH.

THAT'S AN INTERESTING SMELL.

- SMELLS LIKE

YOUR BELLY BUTTON.

- [laughing]

THAT IS JUST SEXY.

- LET'S GET SOME LIGHTS.

DAMN.

I CALLED TO GE THE POWER TURNED ON,

BUT I GUESS:

THEY NEVER MADE IT.

- WHAT?

NO SOLAR PANELS?

NOT VERY GREEN OF YOU.

[flicking light switch]

- DAMN.

[flicking light switch]

WE GOT PLATES.

- NO, EVAN.

THIS IS ANTIQUE CHINA.

THIS IS REAL SILVER.

LIKE, WHY WOULD THEY LEAVE

THIS STUFF BEHIND?

IT'S, LIKE, GOT TO BE

FAMILY HEIRLOOMS OR SOMETHING.

- THE CONTRACT SAID WE GE ALL THE FURNISHINGS.

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Stephen Briggs

Stephen Briggs (born 1951) is a British writer of subsidiary works and merchandise surrounding Terry Pratchett's comic fantasy Discworld. The Streets of Ankh-Morpork, the first Discworld map, was co-designed by Briggs and Pratchett and painted by Stephen Player in 1993. This was followed by The Discworld Mapp (1995)), also painted by Stephen Player, and A Tourist Guide to Lancre (1998), painted by Paul Kidby. Briggs also adapted over 20 Pratchett novels for the amateur stage – Wyrd Sisters, Mort, and Guards! Guards! (published by Corgi); The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents, Johnny and the Dead, and Dodger (Oxford University Press); Going Postal, Night Watch, Interesting Times, The Fifth Elephant and The Truth (Methuen / A.& C. Black); Making Money, Carpe Jugulum and Maskerade (Samuel French); Feet of Clay, The Rince Cycle – mainly a combination of The Colour of Magic and The Light Fantastic – and Unseen Academicals (Oberon); his adaptation of Lords and Ladies is unpublished. The Discworld encyclopaedia The Discworld Companion, published in 1995 with updated editions in 1997 and 2003 (the latter entitled The New Discworld Companion, is derived from Briggs' database of Discworld information). The fourth edition of the Companion was published in 2012 under the title Turtle Recall. In 2007 Briggs published The Wit and Wisdom of Discworld, a compilation of quotes from the Discworld novels. He also collaborated with Pratchett in Discworld Diaries and Nanny Ogg's Cookbook. Briggs has also recorded audiobook versions of certain Discworld works, in editions released by Isis Publishing and by HarperCollins in the US. In 2004, he received an Audie Award for his audiobook recording of Monstrous Regiment. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Maskerade" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 5 May 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/maskerade_13459>.

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