Mardi Gras: Spring Break

Why don't you tell us about

your first Mardi Gras.

Well, it was the best Mardi Gras ever!

When we met, over 60 years ago, I was...

It was the Rex Parade.

I was in the Queen's court.

She was a beautiful princess.

Howie asked me to attend

a ball with him later that week.

I don't know what took him so long!

Well, I was nervous.

I'd never seen such a beautiful creature, ever.

I didn't give up the pussy till the fifth date.

Kept me waitin' three weeks.

I thought my balls were gonna explode!

They eventually did, all over my titties.

Love those titties, honey.

There they are, winkin' at me again.

Sweetheart, I love you.

Hey! That's all of 'em.

Only one thing left to do.

You sure about this?

Nope. But if this doesn't work,

I don't know what else will.

God be with us.

The social environment in contrast

to the natural environment

plays a key role in self-perception.

Your notes need some love.

Your arm needs some love.

You know, that's not

the only part of me that needs some love.

I hope we're thinking about the same part?

Otherwise what I have in mind

could be incredibly awkward.

For both of us.

I think we're gonna be okay.

There's a study group

at my apartment tonight.

Is your place quiet?

Should be. Doubt Bump and

Scottie have anything going on.

Party! Big party tonight!

Oh, my God.

4029 Walnut!

Beer and chips! It's gonna be huge!

Yes!

Everyone's gonna get laid!

Rock on!

- Did you know about this?

- No.

But it is definitely

gonna get worse before it gets better.

Please!

I'll help.

- Where's the music?

- It's not working.

- Do something!

- Well, what am I supposed to do?

Figure it out!

Party tonight! Yeah, yeah.

Gonna be sweet. Big party!

Fun times, right? Okay!

Rock on!

- Son of a bitch!

- I got it!

What the f*ck?

It won't turn off.

Why is that even on there in the first place?

It's... It must've skipped to my bath mix.

You stupid bitch, do something!

This is embarrassing!

I'm freezing and my cock is so small!

I look like a goddamn hamster!

F*ck it.

Excuse me. Pardon me.

About how many

of you are there in this row?

Fifteen, is that something?

Gonna be beer!

Gonna be food, gonna be chicks, yeah!

- Hey, guys.

- Bump.

Hey. Erica, so...

We're having a big party

and you know,

you should bring all of your friends.

Only the hot ones!

Hey, so just take one and pass it down.

So I guess,

it's not gonna be quiet at your place after all.

It's hard to say.

Oops.

Let me get that for you, sweetheart.

No!

How have you been able

to put up with this since high school?

They're my best friends.

Think it might be time for an upgrade?

Just in case somebody didn't get one, okay?

Yeah.

Don't forget! Free booze!

Gonna be the greatest party of all time!

This is the worst party of all time.

Okay, guys, think I'm gonna call it a night.

Maybe go kill myself?

Come on, Bump!

Look on the bright side, man.

Least we got enough

booze and food to last us the rest of the year.

This is bullshit!

We're second semester seniors,

and look at us!

Well, what? What's wrong with us?

Not you, "us." Us, "us."

Yeah, the two of us

who don't have an incredibly hot girlfriend

who's gonna come over

and screw us any minute now.

Oh, come on! You guys don't have it so bad.

I mean, at least I've been laid.

Scottie's a goddamn

virgin who talks to his cock.

Okay, leave Max out of this.

I refuse to have a discussion

with a grown man who calls his penis Max.

It's his name, what else would I call him?

A worthless appendage that gets no poon?

I don't know how

our social lives at this college got

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