
Man on the Moon
(0.00 / 0 votes)FADE IN:
INT. VOID - DAY
Standing in a nonexistent set is ANDY KAUFMAN, looking a bit
nervous. Wide-eyed, tentative, he stares at us with a
needy, unsettling cuteness. His hair is slicked-down, and
he wears the "FRIENDLY WORLD" costume from the Andy Kaufman
special.
Finally, Andy speaks -- in a peculiar FOREIGN ACCENT.
ANDY (AS FOREIGN MAN)
Hallo. I am Andy. Welcoom to my
movie.
(beat; he gets
upset)
I hoped the story of my life would
be nice...but it turned out
terrible! It is all LIES! Tings
are mixed up... real people I knew
play different people. WHAT A MESS!
So I broke into Universal and cut
out the junk. Now it's much
shorter. In fact, this is the end
of the movie. So tanks for comink!
Bye-bye!
Andy puts a needle on a phonograph, and swelling CLOSING
CREDITS MUSIC starts to play. FINAL CREDITS roll.
Andy stands frozen, awkwardly looking at the audience.
Every time the music ends he picks up the needle and
restarts the music. He does that as many times as the
credits require.
Finally, CREDITS END. And then--a sly smile. He leans in.
DROPS HIS ACCENT and WHISPERS.
ANDY (AS REGULAR VOICE)
Okay! Just my friends are left. I
wanted to get rid of those other
people... they would have laughed in
the wrong places.
(beat)
movie... it's actually PRETTY GOOD!
It shows everything... from me as a
(his eyes pop; he
covers his mouth)
Oops!! I wasn't supposed to talk
about that! Oh. Eh, uh, we better
just begin. It starts back in Great
Neck, Long Island...
Andy turns to a primitive 16mm PROJECTOR and turns it on.
WHIR! He smiles at the flickering light.
ANDY:
Oh, yes. I remember it well...
We PUSH INTO the white light. It fills our frame, blazing
whiter, whiter...
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. KAUFMAN HOUSE - 1957 - DAY
A BLACK AND WHITE image slowly becomes COLOR. Great Neck,
1957. An upper-class Jewish neighborhood. In the street,
crewcut BOYS play t-ball, laughing and shouting. A fat
convertible pulls up to the smallest house, and STANLEY
KAUFMAN, 40, gets out. Still in his suit, he's a well-
meaning slave to his job -- tired, responsible.
Stanley goes over to admire the t-ball game. At bat is his
son MICHAEL, 6, a natural charmer. Michael swings -- crack!
-- and hits a solid single. Stanley smiles.
STANLEY:
That's my boy! Good swingin',
kiddo.
(warm beat; then a
look)
Hey -- Michael... where's your
brother?
MICHAEL:
He's inside.
Instantly -- Stanley's mood turns black. He frowns angrily,
then snatches his briefcase and marches in.
INT. KAUFMAN HOUSE, KITCHEN - 1957 - DAY
Baby CAROL is crying. Mom JANICE, 35, quickly peels
carrots, trying to get dinner made. Stanley marches past.
STANLEY:
Is he in his room?
JANICE:
Of course he's in his room.
(aggravated)
All his "friends" are in there.
Stanley glowers. He huffs upstairs.
INT. KAUFMAN HOUSE, HALLWAY - 1957 - DAY
Stanley hurries up to Andy's shut door. We hear little Andy
doing VOICES.
ANDY (O.S.)
(as WORRIED GIRL)
But professor, why are the monsters
growing so big?
(now as BRITISH
PROFESSOR)
It's something in the jungle water.
I need to crack the secret code.
Stanley rolls his eyes. He opens the door...
INT. KAUFMAN HOUSE, ANDY'S ROOM - 1957 - DAY
...revealing ANDY, 8, performing for the wall. Andy is
happy and enthusiastic... as long as he's acting.
ANDY:
(as BRITISH
PROFESSOR)
Maybe I should talk to the natives.
(as dancing NATIVES)
Shoom boom boo ba! Shoom boom boo
ba --
STANLEY:
Andy!
ANDY:
(startled)
Oh!
The boy suddenly turns off, becoming introverted... awkward.
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"Man on the Moon" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2022. Web. 10 Aug. 2022. <https://www.scripts.com/script/man_on_the_moon_718>.
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