Man of the House

Synopsis: Texas Ranger Roland Sharp is assigned to protect the only witnesses to the murder of a key figure in the prosecution of a drug kingpin -- a group of University of Texas cheerleaders. Sharp must now go undercover as an assistant cheerleading coach and move in with the young women.
Genre: Comedy, Crime
Director(s): Stephen Herek
Production: Columbia Pictures
 
IMDB:
5.4
Metacritic:
35
Rotten Tomatoes:
9%
PG-13
Year:
2005
100 min
$19,118,247
Website
22 Views

Says your source got religion

while he was in the can.

- You trust him?

- No.

Sharp, we're going to a church.

That's why I didn't bring a helicopter.

Everybody, get your hands up.

Now keep them up...

and say, "Hey!"

Say, "Oh!"

All right. Then go ahead.

We have learned from the three wise men...

The O'Jays...

Eddie, Walter, and the other guy...

that there is a train coming...

and it is a train of love.

Michael rowed his boat ashore.

Because he, too, wanted to get

off that water and get on the train.

Had the ticket.

And I, too, want to be on that same train.

So I will see everyone next week. Hopefully.

Percy Stevens. What's it been?

Three to five years with time off

for good behaviour?

Sharp, how are you?

This is a church, all right?

A place that's sacred.

And it shall remain untainted.

We're looking for an old cellmate of yours,

Morgan Ball. You seen him?

He's a key witness in one of my cases.

Come on, man.

I don't hang with that crowd anymore.

I am a prophet in a non-profit world.

Aren't you worried about him getting away?

I'm more worried

about him having a heart attack.

You want me to call an ambulance for you?

Look, man, I don't even know

why I'm running in the first place.

I'm on God's side now.

Give us the phone, Percy.

Man, why are you all treating me

like I'm some little punk kid?

Besides, the Lord says:

"He who is without sin cast the first stone."

- What the hell is wrong with you?

- It slipped.

Where's the damn phone at?

Holy cow!

It's a musical cow. Look at it. It's a miracle.

Like the parting of the Red Sea.

Or the time I saw Mike Tyson's face

in a taco.

What is he doing?

No. I know he's not about to do that.

Come on, man.

He gonna really put his hand up that cow?

You can't do that.

It's against the cow's rights, man.

What's up with the...

All the way... In the hand...

It's for you.

Hello.

Hey, Morgan. Calm down, man.

All units, stand by for the whereabouts

of our friend Morgan Ball.

They're coming in.

Texas Rangers looking for Morgan Ball!

Sure hope we don't have the wrong house!

Go to hell!

Morgan, don't run.

Eddie Zane, FBI.

How the hell did that fire start?

I don't know. We heard some shots.

- Who's in there?

- Sharp and Swanson.

Christ.

You know what's in those barrels, right?

One wrong shot and we could all go.

Look, Ball, you have three choices:

A:
You could stay in this hellhole

and burn to death.

B:
You can come with us

and testify against John Cortland.

A and B suck.

What about C?

C is my personal favourite.

Take it easy.

I'm sure there's a way

we can work out this whole thing.

Seems like it's pretty well worked out to me.

I got money. Lots of money.

If you get me out of here,

I'll make you both rich.

Look, see this key? It's yours.

Thank you. I'll put that in evidence.

Look, I can't testify.

Cortland will kill me. It's a death sentence.

Let's go outside and talk it over.

You gotta be kidding me.

Nice job, Sharp.

What's that they say?

"Texas Rangers always get their man"?

That's the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.

You both have funny hats and funny boots.

Who can tell you apart?

- Long time, Eddie.

- More than five years.

Margaret Swanson, Eddie Zane.

He's with the Federal Bureau of Idiots.

I'd have become a Ranger

if they said my partner would look like you.

If you were a Ranger,

you'd have caught this bastard by yourself.

That's the beautiful thing

about working for the federal government.

Other people do your grunt work for you.

- How's your daughter doing?

- Real good.

Excuse me, I'm bleeding here.

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"Man of the House" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 16 Oct. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/man_of_the_house_13264>.

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