Malice in Lalaland

Director(s): Lew Xypher
  2 wins & 16 nominations.
94 min

Oh no, Malice.

Malice, stop.




There you are.

Hard way or the easy way.




Doctor Queenie.

We have a situation.

Oh really?

One of our patients escaped.


You incompetent moron.

I locked her door.

I don't know what happened.

Find her.

I do everything for you.

Get out!

Oh no.

Not without me.

Hey, wait for me.


Where are you rabbit?

Are you in there?


Is this your home?


What are you anyway?

Is this real or is it a costume?

At least I'm not walking

around bare-assed anymore.

There you are.

Where are you Malice?

Could you be... here?

My clothes.

Don't move a**hole.

- Is this a gun?

It's a really big one.

Are you trying to break in?

That is not necessary.

I need information.

I'm looking for a girl.

You better get off my property.

I'm gone already.

You have five seconds

to get out of here.



- Wait, the car won't start.

I hope to God that car don't start.

- Wait.


Get the f*** out of here.

Did you see that?

- Baby, what happened?

My pack is bigger than his.

You showed that son of a jackal.

- Yes, I did.

The way you stuck out

that gun at him.

That made me so horny.

Hey, Rabbit.

I want it.

Hey, stop that.


It's me.

- Tell me you have her.

Well, almost.

I am on her tail, Queenie.

It's doctor Queenie to you.

Doctor, please.


I will really hurt you

if you don't find the girl.

But Queenie, I mean doctor Queenie.

You can't be serious.

- Oh, but I am.

She escaped, because you're

too busy jerking off.

Get her back and don't call

for no good reason.

Quid pro quo.

- What?

I do something for you,

you do something for me.

What do you mean?

- I want to take pictures of you.

What kind of pictures

do you want?

Let me guess.

- It's not what you think.

I'm an artistic photographer.

- Yeah right.

Come on, do I look

like a pervert to you?

We'll see.

- Awesome.

What's your name, sweetie?

- Malice. And you?

I'm Chester Catz, with a "z".

What where you doing

in the desert on your own?

Some crazy guy was chasing me.

- Some crazy guy?

Sh*t, dat is hem.

Dat is Jabbowski.

The guy I was telling about.

Don't stop, go.

Stop the car, sir.

What did that guy want from you?

He's after me and he's crazy.

That's for damn sure.

Where are you going?

- Curiosity killed the cat.

Can I get one of your

nicest rooms please?

That would be a hundred bucks.

Here you go. Thank you.

So, here it is.

What do you want me to do now?

- Wait a minute.

I got some stuff in here.

You'll look great in that.

Don't you think?

- No.

Come on.

You'll look hot in that.

Come on.

Two seconds.

I am not wearing that.

No, it's for me.

You're kidding.

How can you see anything?

- I got cat eyes.

Somebody had a weird childhood.

- Whatever.

Let's start.

Want to come to

the Matt Hadder party?

Ok, cool.

What kind of party is it?

You'll find out.

I just gotta see my friend.

It's gonna be fun.

- Sure.


What's up buddy?

I'm good mate.

Listen, I need to come around.

Cool. See you in a bit.

Cats, caterpillars...

What's next? Monkeys?

What the f***?

What happened?

What's going on?


Is he dead?


Are you awake?

That's it girls, come on.

Yeah, shake it. Nice.

Shake those titties.

That's how you do it.


Catz, my long lost buddy,

how are you?

Sit. Look what the cat dragged in.

What a pretty kitty.

Kater, this is Malice.

- Sit here so I can look at you.

Hi there.

See those girls?

They're auditioning for me.

What do you think?

I like them titties.

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Nikki Heartache

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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