Major League Page #3

Bardahl.

Vagisil.

Any one of 'em will give you

another 2 to 3 inches drop

on your curve ball.

'Course, if the umps

are watching me close,

I just rub a little jalapeo

inside my nose, get it running.

Then if I need to load the ball up a little,

I just wipe my nose.

You put snot on the ball?

I haven't got an arm like yours.

I gotta put anything on it I can find.

Someday you will, too.

Qu pasa there, Pedro?

Bats, they are sick.

I can no hit curve ball.

Straight ball, I hit it very much.

Curve ball, bats are afraid.

I ask Jobu to come, take fear from bats.

I offer him cigar and rum.

He will come.

Hey, you know, you might think about

taking Jesus Christ as your savior,

instead of fooling around

with all this stuff.

Sh*t, Harris.

Jesus. I like him very much,

but he no help with curve ball.

You trying to say

Jesus Christ can't hit a curve ball?

Okay, Harris.

Let's not start a holy war here.

I wouldn't leave that rum sitting around

out here with this group.

Is very bad to steal Jobu's rum.

Is very bad.

S, s, Pedro.

Attaboy, Dorn.

Way to get in front of that ball.

That's the ticket.

Gracias.

Okay.

Third base.

- Sh*t.

- Jesus!

He's safe!

Damn!

Jeez!

He's going.

- Come on.

- Out!

- Final cut-down day, right?

- Afraid so.

I don't wanna go in there.

Yeah. Look, whatever happens,

you just keep it to yourselves

until you get out of the clubhouse.

You don't wanna celebrate

in front of guys who just died.

Yeah, but what if

we're one of the deceased, huh?

Come on, Jake, it's only your life.

Yes, yes, yes.

I got news for you, Mr. Brown.

You haven't heard the last of me.

You may think I'm sh*t now,

but someday,

you're gonna be sorry that you cut me.

I'm gonna catch on somewhere else,

and every time that I pitch against you,

I'm gonna stick it up your f***ing ass!

Good. I like that kind of spirit

in a player.

The only problem is I didn't cut you.

What?

I think someone's been

having some fun with you.

Jesus.

Hey, hey, hey!

Vaughn!

Come on, guys! Cool it!

- Don't f*** with me, Vaughn!

- Yeah?

F*** you!

What's the matter, rookie fuckwad,

can't you take a little joke?

Oh, yeah. Real f***ing funny, a**hole!

All right. All right! Knock that sh*t off!

Lou, you better make it real clear

to this little lady,

I'm not about to take his sh*t.

Shut up, Dorn.

Save all that energy for the field.

Got a long way to go

before the season's over.

Hey, forget about Dorn.

We got other things to do.

Like what?

Like packing for Cleveland.

Come on.

Ricky Vaughn? Willie Hayes?

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