Magic in the Moonlight
You do something to me
Something that
simply mystifies me
Tell me, why should it be
You have the power
to hypnotize me?
Let me live 'neath your spell
Do do that voodoo
that you do so well
'Cause you do something to me
Bravo! Bravo!
I don't understand. Is the
conductor a blithering idiot?
We went over
the tempo six times!
It's adagio, adagio, adagio.
It's not racehorse tempo!
Ja, ja, Herr Crawford.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
What? Don't be sorry!
Get it right.
What good are apologies
when the poetry of
the moment is lost?
And you!
You're supposed to knock
when you're ready in the trunk.
How do I know
when you're all clear?
Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Crawford,
I couldn't breathe in that...
Well, you're not hired
to breathe!
But it was her first time,
Mr. Crawford.
My God, we went over this
routine all afternoon.
How do I know when to begin
sticking in the swords?
I could have
stabbed you to death,
and then,
I get blood on my ensemble.
Oh, Mr. Wei Ling Soo! You
were, as always, brilliant!
Oh, I've already
taken off my robe.
Can my wife and I
take a photo of you?
An autograph, please?
Autographs are for
mental defectives.
But I want to prove I met you.
Well, if you don't mind, I'd
rather that proof didn't exist.
What if you get
picked up for sodomy?
Yes!
Stanley?
Burkan!
How are you, Howard?
Brilliant. You are still
the best in the world.
No thanks to the assorted
Neanderthals I have to deal with.
Oh, you haven't changed.
You're still a perfectionist,
a snob, a genius,
with all the charm
of a typhus epidemic.
Well, can I help it if I'm
surrounded by assassins?
Nonetheless,
you held us spellbound.
And that last effect, from the
sarcophagus into the empty chair,
when you swivel around...
I mean, I do a vanish-and-reappearance
trick in my show
where I transport
my pretty assistant
from one side of the stage
to the other
in a steamer trunk,
but it is nothing
compared to what you do.
I invented that effect myself.
And if you're very good,
when we have more time,
I'll teach you all the moves.
It's actually... It's very simple.
You can do it anywhere.
It's a spectacular trick.
It's so good to see you.
How long has it been?
It's a year, at least.
And the tour's going well?
It concludes this week.
Munich was good.
Barcelona adored me.
And you'll never guess who came
to see the show in Zurich.
Enid Paxton. Enid Paxton?
we both used her
as an assistant
when we decided to become magicians.
Ah...
You sawed her in half,
and I cut her head off.
Well, she was a game girl.
Uh, how is she? Oh, she's fine.
You don't really notice
any of the scars.
Of course, she's fatter
than my elephant.
with the curls?
Well, the years
can be cruel, Howard.
"Life is nasty, brutish and
short," as the man said.
Was it Hobbes? Yes, I
believe it was Hobbes.
I'd have got on
rather well with Hobbes.
Shall we go for a drink?
Brilliant notion, Burkan.
We can catch up.
Stanley, I need your help.
Ah, the plot thickens.
I'll buy you a scotch.
The Catledge family
are wonderful people.
Caroline Catledge is
an old friend of mine.
They're a wealthy
Pittsburgh family.
Father made millions
in coal before he died.
They're socialites with several
houses, one in the south of France.
Now, the thing is, there's a
young woman staying with them,
who has them believing
that she's a spirit medium.
Oh, Lord,
not another fake psychic.
What a pestilence they are.
They're taken with her
predictions of the future.
Telling them what they want to hear.
Precisely.
Hmm, and charging them for all
the good news she brings.
Exactly right. And, of course,
Well, of course. A pretty face
never hurt a cheap swindler.
Brice Catledge,
Caroline's brother,
the heir to the family fortune,
fancies himself
in love with her.
You know, I don't know
who I loathe more,
those who use simple tricks
to prey on the gullible,
or the gullible, who are so stupid,
they deserve what they get.
Brice Catledge's
sister Caroline
is married to a doctor,
a psychoanalyst,
and he insisted on this
woman doing her sances,
in the presence of
two renowned scientists.
Oh, rubbish.
Doesn't he know that scientists
are among the easiest to fool?
Well, this is the thing,
I'm embarrassed to say,
that I watched this woman work
from every angle, time and again,
and I couldn't
find anything amiss.
I mean, I watched every
move, and Lord knows,
I know pretty much every mind-reading
but I couldn't find a flaw or spot
a single suspicious move and...
I began to doubt
my own clear thinking.
You know, I thought,
"Maybe, she's the real thing".
There is no real thing,
Howard! It's all phony!
From the sance table,
to the Vatican and beyond!
I can't believe
you're saying this.
I'm very worried
for the family.
If you could come and
observe her in action?
After all, you are
the greatest debunker
of fake spiritualists
in the world.
There's not a single one
who's got past you.
Olivia and I were all set
to take a holiday,
travel through the Galapagos.
But you hate holidays.
You'll spend your whole time in
your room practicing card tricks,
and you'll never
see the big turtles.
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"Magic in the Moonlight" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 26 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/magic_in_the_moonlight_13162>.
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