Lust for Love Page #4

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be able to win Mila back.

It's worth a shot.

You're gonna take some hits.

Hit me, b*tch.

I won't be the one hitting you,

and you won't be

calling me b*tch.

Biatch! Ow!

- You got to be strong, okay?

- Water off a duck's back.

That's gonna be your motto.

Water off a duck's back.

Please don't make me

try that line again.

- The line worked on me.

- I went home with the guy.

Yeah, a handsome guy, I'm sure.

- That's not the point.

- It was his delivery.

How did I become

your Guinea pig?

- I bought you in a pet shop.

- Chose you for your soft coat.

- Hey, hey, hey.

- Sensitive. Sensitive.

Now get Guinea-pigging.

What about her?

You can try him if you like.

Oh, come on.

That girl there.

She's perfect.

Water off a duck's back.

Hi. Sorry, I...

I saw you outside before,

and I think you dropped this.

Uh...

That is definitely not mine.

- Oh, Jesus.

- That's embarrassing.

I'm...

- Did you say "Jesus"?

- Uh-huh.

I'm Roman catholic,

and I don't believe in

taking the lord's name in vain,

and I certainly don't believe

in sex before marriage.

"Purity."

Well, it's always a good idea

to keep safe.

Stop the spread of STDs.

I'm Roman catholic.

Right.

I might go...

Confess my sins.

What are your sins?

Monogamy, mahogany,

general misuse of wood.

You should definitely

keep that to yourself.

You're not gonna even

finish your drink?

How did that line

ever work on you?

It was my condom

that I dropped deliberately.

I wanted the guy.

- I told you it'd never work.

- Okay, fine.

But your improvising now,

and you've been knocked back

three times tonight

without even realizing.

Didn't we do this lesson

already?

Yes, but it's the most

important lesson.

You can't be phased

by a rejection.

Okay. Okay. I got it.

- Wait.

- You can't be phased by anything.

You know the number-one reason

a girl knocks back a guy?

- Wrong line?

- Nerves.

I'm trying to hide my nerves.

Her nerves. A rejection's

often not really a rejection.

It's just a girl being shy,

awkward. Got to ride it out.

Sail the storm

to calmer waters.

- Exactly.

- Keep the conversation going

until it actually

becomes a conversation

and not just a pickup line.

Okay, so you're saying I should've

kept talking to mother Mary?

Yeah, well,

she had a chastity ring on.

I think you gave her

enough time.

She would've spread her legs

eventually but not for a few months.

Charming.

You will be.

Okay. Give me a real technique.

Thanks.

Thank you.

Hey.

Oh.

Oh, sorry.

Excuse me.

I, uh...

Hi.

Ooh.

Hi.

Hey, ladies. Drinks for you

courtesy of this guy over here.

- Hey there.

- Hey.

How's it going?

- Hi.

- Cheers.

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