Lucky Stiff Page #3

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Hello, Hotel Ambassador?

Hello? Hotel Monaco?

Oui, I'll hold.

Vinnie!

- Any luck?

- Not yet.

Hello, Hotel de Paris?

Um, avez vous un Harry Witherspoon

registered chez vous there?

Oui, I'll hold.

Damn!

You do? He is?

Uh, Mr. Witherspoon is an old and dear

family friend and I'd like to surprise him.

Could you possibly

book two rooms,

one for me and

one for my brother...

- Don't use my name!

- ...right down the hall from him?

Not my name!

Not my name!

Mrs. Rita LaPorto

and Dr. Vincent Di Ruzzio.

- She said "doctor"!

- Merci you very much.

Aujourd'hui!

Yes!

This might be all right, Uncle.

Can I sit on your lap?

Oh, no! No!

Mommy, his lap is hard.

You should both be ashamed!

Get back!

Get off me! Get away,

you mangy little mutt!

Sorry! Highly allergic.

Gangway!

- Let me help you with that.

- Unhand the baggage. What is it with you people?

Think I have a gun or something?

You check in, okay?

Then we'll ring his room.

If he's not in his room,

we'll fan out.

You take museums, churches

and car parks.

I'll take beaches, casinos,

cafes and beauty parlors.

Rita, promise me you're not going

to do anything crazy or emotional.

I will charm him.

To death.

All right.

You're following us.

I'm following you?

- Yes, you are.

- No, I'm not.

You are. Every time I look over

my shoulder, you're there.

I have as much right to be here as you do,

Mr. Witherspoon.

- There! You see, you know my name.

- No, I don't.

Yes, you do. You just

called me Mr. Witherspoon.

- No, I didn't.

- You did!

- I did?

- Yes.

Okay, yes, I did.

Now who are you

and what do you want?

Look, you've upset my uncle.

Well, that would be a pretty good

trick considering his condition.

- What?

- My card.

Miss Annabel Glick, legal associate,

Universal Dog Home of Brooklyn.

We were your

uncle's favorite charity.

Don't tell me you've come

all this way for a handout.

I've come all this way for the money,

Mr. Witherspoon.

All six million dollars of it.

But I accepted

the terms of the will,

and as you can see, I'm here carrying

out his wishes, so you people have lost.

Not yet, we haven't.

Not by a long shot.

You see, there's a loophole.

What loophole?

Where?

Well, when we received our copy of the will in tape,

our legal department noticed how detailed it was.

All those social activities, specific

times you have to be at specific places.

- I'm doing the best I can.

- Yes.

But make one little slip

and the money goes to the dogs.

So you might as well

just give up right now.

Give up? Give up?

You're joking.

I'm not the kind of person who

jokes about serious social issues.

- One look at your shoes and I can see that.

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