Lower Learning

Synopsis: Geraldine Ferraro Elementary is on the brink of collapse: the lowest test scores in the state, teachers who are either drunk or having sex on school grounds, and a principal who extorts ...
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Mark Lafferty
Production: Anchor Bay Entertainment
97 min

Radio DJ:
You can expect highs

in the mid-70s today

and unless you're driving

a jet pack to work

get used to the slow-and-go

traffic for your morning commute.

Now onto more troubling news

emerging from the Coolidge County

school district.

Millions of dollars are missing

from the school coffers

due to the district's sloppy

accounting procedures

and no one can seem to

pinpoint the missing loot.

District Chairwoman Olympia Parpadelle

had no comment,

but county insiders blame

staff shortages, incompetence

and a troubling climate

of corruption

at a time when the county's children

continue to score

at the bottom of statewide tests.

Moving on to sports,

it seems the chimpanzee

that interrupted

Saturday's community college

baseball playoffs...

Hey, you okay?


Same sh*t, different day, huh?

Something like that, yeah.


- (bell ringing)

- # I wanted to #

(children chattering)

# To find another spot #

# To pay you #

# It's just that I forgot #

- # But nobody has the time #

- (grunts)

# To sit and blow my mind #

# But I'm so ready #

# To leave this sh*t behind #

# And you've been

around the block #

# More times than him #

- (grunts, farts)

- # And everybody catches you #

# When you've got nothing #

# But you're only 24 #

# But you still want more #

# And you gotta start over #

- # Every time you close the door #

- Girl:
Here you go.

# But don't worry, baby #

# There's another night waiting #

# And maybe by the morning #

# There'll be something

worth saving #

# Then I'll say you made it #

# Then I'll say

you made it #

# Yeah. #

(song continues)

# I wanted to find #

# Another way to look at you #

# But everybody's saying #

# That I've got way too much

to lose #

# So I hold you till the morning

meets the afternoon #

# And you don't mind

that I leave #

# You've got your things

to do #

(song continues)

# But don't worry, baby #

# There's another night waiting #

# And maybe by the morning #

# There'll be something

worth saving #

# Then I'll say you made it #

# Yeah #

(song continues)

# But don't worry, baby #

# There's another night waiting #

# And maybe by the morning #

# There'll be something worth saving #

# Then I'll say you made it... #

(bell rings)


I failed you, Pop.

(filing nails)

Catherine, the bond market

is for pussies.

Oh, God, what do the homosexuals

want now?

- (intercom buzzes)

- Boy:
Mr. Conroy to see you.

Send him in.

(march playing on gramophone)

(intercom buzzes)

Jasper Macaveady

and Adelle Horowitz.

Jasper Macaveady and

Adelle Horowitz.

Oh, for f***'s sake.



(march playing on gramophone)

Scotch man, right?

No, actually, I don't touch the stuff.

Pinot then?


Jasper poured gravy

all in my hair.

I can see that.

Jasper, where did you get gravy

at 8:
00 AM?

Jasper buddy, you know the drill.

Go walk the railroad tracks

until lunch.

Hey, I don't make the rules.

Adelle, I don't know, honey.

It will eventually dry, so...


I'll call your mom.

She'll bring you some new clothes, okay?

Oh, sh*t.

No no no. I can't hug you.

I can't hug you.

It's against policy.

Plus I'll get gravy

all over my shirt.

So, okay?

What do you want?

Do you want some grapefruit?

I got grapefruit.

Look, Conroy, you know

I can't discuss my dealings

with other parents,

but if you want those kind of grades

for little Julie,

it's gonna cost you

more than 10 Gs.

Gigi Fenstermacher told me

she only paid $7500.

Gigi Fenstermacher is a whore.

And do you think I served her

the 1986 Bouchemal Pinot

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    "Lower Learning" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2022. Web. 7 Jul 2022. <https://www.scripts.com/script/lower_learning_13011>.

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