Love Letters of a Portuguese Nun Page #4

lf you wish to please God,

you must change.

Yes, High Priestess.

Lord of Darkness, l have daubed myself

with the juice of a toad,

and you have ordained me as your bride.

l have danced naked in front of you

and bitten your symbol into my loin.

On the goat meadow,

we have come together, joined in the flesh.

And now you're denying me our child?

l will not bear the one

l have received from you.

- ls it you?

- Yes, High Priestess.

Thy shall be done, Lord of Hell.

You are my arbiter. You command.

Come to me.

These two have caused me

to deliver the child before it is due

by offering me an apple.

Stand by us so that we may finish our task.

ln the name of hell, leave my body, Lucifer.

- Joana.

- l'll be right there.

- Hurry up.

- Yes, High Priestess.

There.

Here's the powder from a child's liver.

Help me!

Satan!

Satan! The devil's child

is flowing from my loins. l'm giving birth,

but it can't take shape because

that's what the Lord of Hell has decided.

His child.

Why can't l be a devil's mother?

l sacrificed my virginity to him

on Walpurgis Night.

Lustfully, greedily, we merged,

when he visited me

in the shape of Father Vincente.

How many times did it happen?

l'm dying.

Help me, paramours of Satan. Help me!

Have mercy, Lord of Darkness.

Release me from this satanic sacrifice.

No. No.

Yes, Father Aquilino.

l'm coming.

But the Father will punish me with thorns.

No. No. No!

- She screamed loudly. l wonder why?

- We should ask her.

Father Vincente said, as soon as...

Watch out, there she is.

You need more self-discipline, Joana.

Well, Marie, have you done penance?

- l'm in great pain.

- All the better.

You must learn to regard pain as a triumph.

You must be ready to make sacrifices.

lf only l could. l'm very weak.

l'm very simple-minded.

There are many things l don't understand.

And l'm very afraid of pain.

- One gets used to it.

- l'm not sure about that.

- Only with the right attitude, of course.

- High Priestess, help me achieve it.

- Please.

- l will, under one condition.

You will submit to me completely,

with obedience and discipline.

Your carnal desire and lustful wishes must

be mortified by inflicting pain upon yourself.

Before the evening comes, you shall drive

the thorns deep into the soles of your feet,

until they bleed and you are no longer able

to skip around so light-footedly.

- Marie? Marie, it's me.

- No! Cristbal.

- You mustn't be here. Please go away.

- But you'll come with me.

lf they see you, l'm doomed.

l won't escape with you.

l have found peace here.

l don't believe you. You will only find peace

if you become my wife.

l'm the Lord's bride.

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