Love Happens Page #5

But you know what? I bet the next

chick that you meet in the elevator

or, I don't know, the gym,

is gonna fit that bill

just fine. Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.

Even though I bet you have a

wife who is actually stupid enough

to believe that you're the one

guy with integrity. The one guy.

Until, of course, she finds that

lipstick mark on your boxers,

and then it's

game over, pal.

And that one thing

that you held so dear,

that one thing that you loved

more than anything in the world,

is tainted and ruined

and destroyed like that.

Ergo, if you had

a brain in either head,

you would realize that

I was doing us both a favor.

Excuse me.

Sure. No problem.

Is that my flower

you're wearing?

No.

Yes. Yes, yes, yes, it is.

But I... I took it before,

when I thought you were deaf.

H mm?

Not that I would steal

from a deaf person.

All right.

Goodbye.

My God.

All right,

this one's ready.

Where's that headed?

Don't know.

He said you'd know

where it was going.

H i.

Don't you look grand.

Thank you.

My, my, fancy.

Thank you.

All right.

The concierge

said it's good.

That's good.

He should know.

Yeah.

It stopped raining.

It sure did.

Carrot-ginger and

the spinach soup.

You know, I have to say, I have

never been on a date with someone

who has a cardboard

cutout of themselves.

Well, I mean, they're...

They're really...

They're good

for the carpool lane.

Oh.

Got it.

You know, we take long walks on

the beach together, go fly kites.

He's the kite.

Because he's cardboard.

Right.

Your salads. Enjoy.

Thank you.

Thank you.

So...

"Quidnunc"?

Yeah.

You weren't really supposed

to see that, but, you know...

They're just...

They're just words.

So, there's

more than one, or...

Mmm-mmm.

Thank you.

Well, your concierge called

it. That was real good.

Right.

Thank you.

My pleasure.

So, I gotta... I'm gonna go. I've got...

It's a school night

for me, so...

I understand.

It was very nice.

Thank you. Okay.

All right.

Thank you. Great.

Goodbye.

See you later. Thanks.

Eloise!

Oh.

You know, I haven't... I haven't

been on a date in three years.

'Cause see, I was...

I was married.

And I mean, normally, I'm...

I'm quite dashing and debonair

and whatever other

"D" word there is

that would

really impress you.

But it's painfully apparent

that I'm... I'm a little rusty.

Why... Why wouldn't you

just say so?

I don't know, a desperate

attempt to hold on to

whatever shred of masculinity

that I have left?

Okay. So...

So then I'm your... I'm

your first since a divorce?

U h, you are the first...

Well, that's good.

Because that explains a lot.

Because that in there...

It was... It was bad.

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