Love Can Hurt

Season #1 Episode #1

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[Lucy] Honey, you better get ready!

[Ben] Okay sweetie!

[Lucy] We have to look our best.

[Ben] Why? You've met your friends so many times.

[Lucy] Yeah but this time you're coming, and if you embarrass me I have to look nice still.

[Ben] Since when I have ever embarrassed you?

[Lucy] Our first date, our second date, our fourth date, our seventh date, our-

[Ben] Okay I get it, I embarrassed you a lot.

[Lucy] Yes you did and I'm gonna get you back.

[Ben] When?

[Lucy] Today.

[Ben] Sorry I have to go somewhere.

[Lucy] No you don't.

[Ben] Actually I do. I have work at the hospital too.

[Lucy] Fine whatever.

[Ben] And that's right now.

[Lucy] What?! You promised me to go to my friends house. F*ck you!

[Ben] I'm so sorry babe.

[Lucy] Sure you are. Go have fun with your sick patients at literally 10 o clock in the morning.

[Ben] I'm really sorry.

[Lucy] I don't give a d**n!

*Ben leaves the room*

[Lucy] He never even cared about me anyways. I mean all he ever did was leave me. He's a nasty little mother-

*theme song plays*

[Britney] I woke up this morning and grabbed my coffee, and now look at me, I'm ready for today.

[Margot] I'm sure you are Britney. Always has to have her coffee.

[Lucy] I brought some gifts for all of us.

[Margot] Aw, you're so thoughtful Lucy.

[Lucy] Well my husband isn't.

[Rose] Good one. I haven't had someone to love since 1998.

[Penny] Was it with your poop?

[Rose] Was your first kiss with a poster of Leonardo DiCaprio?

[Britney] You just got roasted Penny.

[Lucy] I think I'm just gonna go home.

[Margot] But we just got here.

[Lucy] I'm gonna surprise Ben.

[Penny] Good luck! I wish you nothing.

*Lucy leaves*

[Rose] Well that was unexpected.

[Lucy] Ben, I have a surprise for you! Ben? Oh my f**king god!

[Ben] It's not what it looks like.

[Lucy] You're... you're... you're trying to have a baby? Who the f*ck even is she?

[Lisa] Hi, my name is I'm hotter than you and I can't help it if Ben wants all of this.

[Lucy] Oh my god, that's a pretty long name for someone who has such small tits.

[Lisa] How dare you!

[Ben] Lucy can you leave?

[Lucy] Fine but we're getting a divorce.

*Lucy leaves*

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