
Love Bite
Befit'?
Where are you?
Just a hunch.
I don't think they're coming.
- I really thought we had a chance.
- They didn't speak English.
- That's what I mean.
- Squeezer?
Well, if the girls aren't coming,
does anyone wanna eat my sausage?
Linda, excuse me. I've hardly
touched this. Can I get a refund? No?
Can I just get it battered to go then,
please?
Never mind about that.
Party, tomorrow afternoon, yeah. The four
mighty stud-muffins on their way.
Well, two mighty stud-muffins and two...
Nothings.
- Will we really pull at this party?
- 100%. It will be a beaver safari.
- A beavery.
- Even Spikey'll pull.
Father Jordan. Going out tonight?
You didn't clean up reception again.
We'll talk about it when you're dressed.
Think I can get away with this
on a motorbike or is it a bit cheeky?
Can you see my...
- Mum! Yes, you can.
Hey, get this. Fast Eddie hinted
Great, I always wanted my third stepdad
to be a roadie.
- You alone then?
- Yes.
Again.
- May I make a suggestion?
- Please don't.
If you wait for the perfect girl to walk
into your life, you end up... waiting.
Thanks, Mum. Duly noted.
- Sometimes imperfect girls are more fun.
- Can't hear you.
Are any of us actually invited
to this party?
- We're not not invited.
- Shh.
Hear that?
It's the mating call
of an entire subspecies.
Alright.
Virgees, listen up.
Girls like a man who's confident, right?
So when in doubt, what do you do?
Talk about yourself.
Girls love that. Fact.
Follow me. I'm going to take you down
to Pussy Town.
Have you got any idea
how crude that sounds?
- Yeah.
- Pussy Town.
See that one in the black bikini?
Spike, you're dribbling.
Watch and learn, Jamie.
Watch and learn.
Butt naked, skinny dip.
Hello?
- I've been watching you.
- Really?
I don't mean to sound forward, but
I suppose a shag's out of the question?
- Excuse me?
- You know, belly to belly?
Back up the hard drive?
The old hump-lick manoeuvre?
- You're really not big on small talk.
- We can do small talk, if you like.
Or you can just dive right in
and lube up your hog.
Bugger.
- Your party?
- No.
- Is that marijuana I can smell?
- No.
Well, whoever's in charge
of this assembly
I want you to tell them
to turn that racket down.
Don't make me come back.
Got it?
Look at it. Everyone else is pulling.
What's wrong with us?
- It's all about pheromones.
- Telephones?
Male sex hormones.
Women can smell them apparently.
- Is this the way to the garden?
- No, yeah, no idea.
- Pardon?
- Nice tat. Sanskrit, right?
Everlasting Peace.
The waiter at the Curry Inn told us
it actually says, 'Kick my nut sack! '
- Kev.
- Juliana.
I don't know if you know,
but tonight is your lucky night.
It's my job to give the most
attractive woman the time of her life.
Starting with
the alcoholic beverage of her choice.
- What would you like, Sweetpea?
- I'll have a Scotch Mist, please.
Coming right up.
- Is that a real drink?
- Do you think I'd make it up?
Does he often use
that chat-up technique?
Normally he asks girls if they wanna
watch him lick his own eyebrow.
Course, I'd hate you to think all
the boys at Rainmouth are just crass.
I've only pulled, Jamie.
And she is well up for it.
She's probably worth at least a...
Minimum.
So, are you here on vacation then?
Going for a more formal approach now?
If you prefer something more moronic...
Am I on vacation?
No, I'm actually working.
- I write travel articles for a blog.
- Wow.
Wideblueyonder.com.
What you guys call gap year students.
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Citation
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"Love Bite" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 7 Mar. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/love_bite_12916>.