Love Bite

Synopsis: School is over and summer has begun in the dead-end seaside town of Rainmouth. While Jamie's friends seem to be happy working in the local pie factory by day and looking for sex by night, Jamie is bored out of his mind, running his pot-head mother's B&B. He's desperate to get out of there. But when he meets beautiful, smart and sexy American traveler Juliana at a party, he's smitten - the world is not so small after all. But soon after Juliana's arrival, strange things start happening. One of the local teens goes missing at a party. Then, another. Jamie is warned by an enigmatic stranger that a werewolf is in town - and preying solely on virgin flesh! The only way to be safe seems to be to pop your cherry. (But that can't be true... can it?) As the locals are picked off one by one, the boys fear that a werewolf is indeed after them. And for all their talk, it turns out none of them have ever had sex before... Pretty soon, everyone is dying to get laid.
Genre: Comedy, Horror
Director(s): Andy De Emmony
Production: Ecosse Films
91 min


Where are you?

Just a hunch.

I don't think they're coming.

- I really thought we had a chance.

- They didn't speak English.

- That's what I mean.

- Squeezer?

Well, if the girls aren't coming,

does anyone wanna eat my sausage?

Linda, excuse me. I've hardly

touched this. Can I get a refund? No?

Can I just get it battered to go then,


Never mind about that.

Party, tomorrow afternoon, yeah. The four

mighty stud-muffins on their way.

Well, two mighty stud-muffins and two...


- Will we really pull at this party?

- 100%. It will be a beaver safari.

- A beavery.

- Even Spikey'll pull.

Father Jordan. Going out tonight?

You didn't clean up reception again.

We'll talk about it when you're dressed.

Think I can get away with this

on a motorbike or is it a bit cheeky?

Can you see my...

- Mum! Yes, you can.

Hey, get this. Fast Eddie hinted

he might wanna tie the knot.

Great, I always wanted my third stepdad

to be a roadie.

- You alone then?

- Yes.


- May I make a suggestion?

- Please don't.

If you wait for the perfect girl to walk

into your life, you end up... waiting.

Thanks, Mum. Duly noted.

- Sometimes imperfect girls are more fun.

- Can't hear you.

Are any of us actually invited

to this party?

- We're not not invited.

- Shh.

Hear that?

It's the mating call

of an entire subspecies.


Virgees, listen up.

Girls like a man who's confident, right?

So when in doubt, what do you do?

Talk about yourself.

Girls love that. Fact.

Follow me. I'm going to take you down

to P*ssy Town.

Have you got any idea

how crude that sounds?

- Yeah.

- P*ssy Town.

See that one in the black bikini?

Spike, you're dribbling.

Watch and learn, Jamie.

Watch and learn.

Butt naked, skinny dip.


- I've been watching you.

- Really?

I don't mean to sound forward, but

I suppose a shag's out of the question?

- Excuse me?

- You know, belly to belly?

Back up the hard drive?

The old hump-lick manoeuvre?

- You're really not big on small talk.

- We can do small talk, if you like.

Or you can just dive right in

and lube up your hog.


- Your party?

- No.

- Is that marijuana I can smell?

- No.

Well, whoever's in charge

of this assembly

I want you to tell them

to turn that racket down.

Don't make me come back.

Got it?

Look at it. Everyone else is pulling.

What's wrong with us?

- It's all about pheromones.

- Telephones?

Male sex hormones.

Women can smell them apparently.

- Is this the way to the garden?

- No, yeah, no idea.

- Pardon?

- Nice tat. Sanskrit, right?

Everlasting Peace.

The waiter at the Curry Inn told us

it actually says, 'Kick my nut sack! '

- Kev.

- Juliana.

I don't know if you know,

but tonight is your lucky night.

It's my job to give the most

attractive woman the time of her life.

Starting with

the alcoholic beverage of her choice.

- What would you like, Sweetpea?

- I'll have a Scotch Mist, please.

Coming right up.

- Is that a real drink?

- Do you think I'd make it up?

Does he often use

that chat-up technique?

Normally he asks girls if they wanna

watch him lick his own eyebrow.

Course, I'd hate you to think all

the boys at Rainmouth are just crass.

I've only pulled, Jamie.

And she is well up for it.

She's probably worth at least a...


So, are you here on vacation then?

Going for a more formal approach now?

If you prefer something more moronic...

Am I on vacation?

No, I'm actually working.

- I write travel articles for a blog.

- Wow.

What you guys call gap year students.

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    "Love Bite" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 27 Sep. 2021. <>.

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