Love And Other Drugs



Oh, yeah! Yeah, you want to dance?

You don't mind if I get up in there, do you?

- This is kind of sexy.

- Yeah. Love it!

You're kind of sexy.

You should take one of these.

Very lightweight on your shoulders, ladies.

Try it out, try it out. There you go.

Feels good, yeah?




Follow me, ladies.

Follow me to the cash register.

I see you guys.

You guys look like you smoke weed, right?

Okay, you're gonna smoke a bowl,

you're gonna buy one of these TVs.

Philips, all right.

You know, you're kind of high, feels good.

Samsung, kind of last year.

Magnavox, bam!

That's an explosion!

You're stoned, it'll blow your mind!

You want to go really small, I got this one.

Really small. Look at this flip-phone. Look.

"Hello, Joan. What are you doing?"

- "I don't know. What are you doing?"

- "I'm great. "

- You are so bad.

- Guys? Christy.


Said one, two princes kneel before you

That's what I said now

Here, take my card. Take my card.

Take my card. Okay? Take my card.

Go, Joan. Go, Joan. Go, Joan. Go, Joan.

In the house. Go, Joan. Go, Joan.

Oh. Sorry, Joan.

Okay, squeeze the nipple.

Squeeze the nipple. Harder.

Okay. Oh, my God!

- What are you doing?

- Feel that.

We can't do this. Jerry's right out there.

He can watch.

What makes you so damn sexy?

Oh, my God.

I promise you, man,

you'll ever need for a living room.

Excuse me.

- Hello?

- Oh, Jesus. Harder.


- Okay. Oh!

- What the...

You f***ing piece of sh*t!

You f***ed up son of a b*tch!

Christy! What the hell is wrong with you?

- How can I ever trust you again?

- I don't know. I'm so sorry.

- What the f*** is wrong with you?

- No, I...

You know, Fujitsu makes the same unit

for 40 bucks less.

- Really?

- Yeah, but they don't sell it here.


But I could get it for you, if you want.

Oh! Are you, like, okay?


- Yeah.

- Okay.

Give me your number.

I'll let you know when I have it.


- What's your name?

- Amber.

- You have beautiful eyes.

- Shut the f*** up, Christy!


Don't you ever f***ing come in here again!

You know what? You owe me commission

on $54,000 worth of second-rate,

knock-off, gray-market, off-brand,

overpriced equipment, you son of a b*tch.

I'll f***ing kill you, you piece of sh*t!

You know what?

Why don't you just send it to me?

Christy knows the address.

Amber! 434-6603!

Why don't you tell Daddy

what a downtown Chicago hospital

is really like?

Patient brought in with chills,

nausea, ischemia, clearly in shock.

Did you do a CBC?

Excuse me, our protocols didn't

exist when you went to medical school.

Oh! Yes, I've been under a rock

these past 30 years.

How many transdermal intubations

have you personally done?

My dear, I teach medicine. I no longer

sully my hands touching actual patients.

- Ha!

- Touch patients?

Why would anybody want to do that?

You are not allowed in this conversation.

Excuse me. I've helped more patients

than you ever will.

Can I pour this drink on your head?

What is wrong with getting rich?

God only knows you can't do that

in medicine anymore.

- He's right about that!

- Don't help him justify his laziness.

I already justified my laziness.

It's called $35 million on my first IPO.

Jamie, help me.

- He's a geek who got lucky.

- And he'll always be a geek.

Yeah? Well, this geek

is taking back your shares.

I don't blame you.

The profession was ruined

when they let women in.

I'm killing both of you.

I'm killing all of you

if you don't get in there and sit down.

And we get to keep all the shares.

- Ugh!

- All right.

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)

Charles Randolph

Charles Randolph is an American screenwriter and producer for film and television. Randolph was born in Nashville, Tennessee. He was a cultural studies and philosophy professor. At age 33, Randolph spent a weekend in Los Angeles giving lectures at the University of Southern California. From a chance meeting with someone who worked for the Farrelly brothers, Randolph was inspired to attempt screenwriting.Randolph is married to Israeli actress Mili Avital, with whom he has two children. more…

All Charles Randolph scripts | Charles Randolph Scripts

FAVORITE (0 fans)

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:



    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)


    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:


    "Love And Other Drugs" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 15 May 2021. <>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    Watch the movie trailer

    Love And Other Drugs

    The Marketplace:

    Sell your Script !

    Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!


    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.