Love, Rosie

Take a deep breath and

start at the beginning.

Tell them how we first met.

Hi. Hi.

Tell them that

ever since we shared our dreams...

Yeah! Yeah!

I had a dream last night.

Even Alex's weirdest ones.

You know a rowing boat?

That little curvy bit the oar sits in?

It's called a rollock

by the way. A what?

Rollock, like "bollock" with an "R."

That was me. I was that thing.

No. Keep that as our secret.

Rosie? Rosie, it's time.

Tell them that this is,

that this has to be...

Everybody!

One of the happiest days of my life.

Please!

For those I haven't had the

chance to say hi to properly,

I'm Rosie.

And this has got to be

one of the happiest days of my life.

Shots!

Yeah! Beyonce!

Yeah!

Whoa!

- Hi, Alex.

- How's it going, mate?

All right.

It's Alex!

It was totally my

fault, the whole thing.

Oh, I'd love to believe

you, Alex, I really would.

I just happen to know my own daughter.

A fine doctor you're gonna make

if this is how you carry on.

Why is everybody shouting?

I'm so embarrassed about last night.

No, no, you don't have to be.

Ugh, I behaved so badly!

Yeah, but bad can be good, too.

Good? It was awful. Oh, I feel

sick even thinking about it.

About which part?

All of it. It never happened.

Alex, okay? You can't tell anyone!

Right.

Go, go, go!

How did we get home from the hospital?

Uh, Mom picked us up.

They needed a parent's name,

so, I obviously didn't

want to give yours.

And she thinks it's my fault anyway,

I'm a terrible influence.

Blah, blah, blah.

Oh, well, you are.

So, now, I have to spend two hours

in the library every

day for a fortnight.

Nightmare. Well, it could be worse.

Bethany Williams has just

got a part time job there.

Yeah, right.

What?

Bethany Williams? Mmm.

Forget it, even I

want to sleep with her.

For your information, she

has been giving me the eye.

Why you haven't squeezed

that zit on your forehead.

F*** off! No. Come here.

I can do it for you.

Don't touch me! Don't you dare!

Ow!

Just look at Greg

right now. What a bimbo.

He invited me to the school dance.

Uh, what did you say?

No, obviously. I'm going with you.

Hey, Alex.

I missed you in the library today.

Yeah, uh, I had nothing...

Uh, I mean, yeah. I was

a bit... A bit of busy...

Don't be a stranger. Yeah.

Yeah, absolutely not.

I'll see you there.

- Hey, girls!

- What did he say to you?

Pathetic.

She's mine for the taking.

You're lucky she didn't

trip over your tongue

dragging halfway across the ground.

Whoa. Okay. All right.

Well, give me some tips

then, if you are so clever.

How do I go about seducing a woman

who is apparently out of my league?

Is that a serious

question? Yeah, absolutely.

Mmm, well, you're at a disadvantage

being a, you know, virgin.

No, no, no, all right?

We can work with that.

First you have to be cool. Ignore her.

Act like you could take it or leave it.

You see, that I've had practice at. Hmm.

Uh, second, you have

to make her feel like

you've seen something

in her no one else has.

Like her soul.

While also ignoring her?

Yes.

Okay, and what happened to the sex?

This is about the sex!

God! You're so f***ed up.

Mmm. You have no idea.

She wants me to take her to the dance.

Really?

Yeah, imagine.

Take her, if it means that much to you.

Come on. You'd have no one to go with.

Uh...

I got asked by the fittest

guy in our year, Alex.

I think I'm fine.

What, so actually this is

quite convenient for you.

Yeah.

All right. Well, yeah,

I'll go ask her then.

Go for it.

Okay. Fine, I will.

- Bethany? Bethany, hi.

- Hey.

Yeah!

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