Louis C.K.: Hilarious

Synopsis: In this unique and dynamic live concert experience, Louis C.K.'s exploration of life after 40 destroys politically correct images of modern life with thoughts we have all had...but would rarely admit to.
Director(s): Louis C.K.
Actors: Louis C.K.
82 min

[Soft, indistinct chatter]

- You have your key

In there, sir?

- Yeah.

[Scattered cheers, shouting]

- House lights?

Go--wally, go on house lights.

- You ready?

- Spotlight.

Spotlight. Spotlight.

[Cheers and applause]

- Thank you.


Thank you very much.

Uh, Thank you.

Hello, everybody.

Um, Hello.

I mean, by everybody,

I mean, uh, you guys.

Uh, i mean

Everybody who's here.

Really i shouldn't

Say "everybody,"

Because most people

Are not here.

By a pretty huge majority,

Most people are not here.

Most people are in China,


It's true.

Actually, that's not true.

Most people are dead.

Did you know that?

It's true.

Out of all the people

That ever were,

Almost all of them are dead.

There are

Way more dead people.

And you're all gonna die,


And then you're gonna be dead

For way longer than your life.

Like, that's mostly

What you're ever gonna be.

You're just dead people

That didn't die yet.


There are so many dead people.

Ray Charles is dead.


Bunch of other ones.

But mostly those two guys.


It's true.

Ray Charles and Hitler

Are both dead.

And really it's the only thing

They have in common,

Because otherwise

They're very different dudes.

Many contrasts between Hitler

And Ray Charles.

I'm gonna tell you

A few of 'em.

Um, Ray Charles was black.

Hitler was not.

Hitler killed several Jews.

Too many.

I'll say too many.

He killed an excessive amount

of Jews.

He really...

Beat that thing to the ground.

He killed way--

He just--no moderation.

Ray charles, meanwhile,

Hardly any Jews.

He killed so few Jews.


I don't know

How to start Shows.

It's just a problem

That i have.

I never...

I never figured out how to come

Out and just start talking,

Because the first thing

You say on stage

Always feels stupid,

Because there's no real reason

For me to talk to you.

It just doesn't exist.

I don't know you.

You don't--you're--

You don't even know each other.

You're facing

The same direction.

That's all

You have in common.

So i just have to...Bleh!

It's like talking

To a girl at a bar


You're attracted to her.

The first thing you say

Is just gonna be dog sh*t

Coming out of your mouth.

Because you don't know her.

The only honest thing

That you could say to her

Is "i want

To f*** your face."

That's the only thing

You could say

That you could mean.

Anything else you say

Is you trying really hard

Not to say

"I want to f*** your face."

That's the only thing you're--

"Hi, i want

To put my penis in...

The lowest hole

In your head."

I was never good at that.

Like, i was very bad

At being single,

Which is a problem,

Because i'm divorced,

So i'm single again.

After ten years

of marriage, and--

No, here.

Cut the sh*t.

Don't even start

With that noise

Like a puppy died.

Let me tell you something.

Let me tell you something.

And this is important,

Because someday one of your

Friends is gonna get divorced.

It's gonna happen.

And they're gonna tell you.

Don't go, "oh, i'm sorry."

That's a stupid thing to say.

It really is.

First of all,

You're making 'em feel bad

For being really happy,

Which isn't fair.

And second--let me explain

Something to you.

Divorce is always good news.

I know that sounds weird,

But it's true,

Because no good marriage

Has ever ended in divorce.

It's really that simple.

That's never ha--

That would be sad,

If two people were married

And they were really happy,

And they just had a great thing,

And then they got divorced,

That would be really sad.

But that has happened

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Louis C.K.

Louis A. Székely (born September 12, 1967), better known by his stage name Louis C.K. (), is a Mexican American stand-up comedian, writer, actor, and filmmaker. He is known for his use of observational, self-deprecating, dark, and shock humor. In 2012, C.K. won a Peabody Award and has received six Primetime Emmy Awards, as well as numerous awards for The Chris Rock Show, Louie, and his stand-up specials Live at the Beacon Theater (2011) and Oh My God (2013). He has won the Grammy Award for Best Comedy Album twice. Rolling Stone ranked C.K.'s stand-up special Shameless number three on their "Divine Comedy: 25 Best Stand-Up Specials and Movies of All Time" list and ranked him fourth on its 2017 list of the 50 best stand-up comics of all time.C.K. began his career in the 1990s writing for comedians including David Letterman, Conan O'Brien, Dana Carvey, Chris Rock, and also for other comedy shows. Also in this period, he was directing surreal short films and went on to direct two features—Tomorrow Night (1998) and Pootie Tang (2001). In 2001, C.K. released his debut comedy album, Live in Houston directly through his website and became among the first performers to offer direct-to-fan sales of tickets to his stand-up shows, as well as DRM-free video concert downloads, via his website. He has released nine comedy albums, often directing and editing his specials as well. He had supporting acting roles in the films The Invention of Lying (2009), American Hustle, Blue Jasmine (both 2013), and Trumbo (2015). C.K. created, directed, executive produced, starred in, wrote, and was the primary editor of, Louie, an acclaimed semi-autobiographical comedy-drama series aired from 2010 to 2015 on FX. In 2016, C.K. created and starred in his self-funded web series Horace and Pete. He also co-created the shows Baskets and Better Things for FX and voiced Max the dog in the animated film The Secret Life of Pets in the same year. His 2017 film, I Love You, Daddy, was pulled from distribution prior to its scheduled release date after multiple women accused him of sexual misconduct which he then admitted to. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Louis C.K.: Hilarious" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 14 May 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/louis_c.k.:_hilarious_12886>.

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