Looking for Eric Page #6

Oh, God, yeah.

Like it was yesterday. Nearly 30 years.

I'm f***ed.

Oui.

Right with you, mon ami.

So I suggest a jump

off the nearest block of flats.

Oh, it's all right for you.

Flawed genius bastard.

Playing beach football.

VIP. Celebrity pals.

You've even got a f***ing French accent.

Eh, look at me. Scrawny little f***.

You've got it all, mate. All of it.

You think my friends

are better than yours?

It's all just slipping

through me fingers.

The lads look through me.

And I can't even trust meself.

I feel like... I feel like I'm floating

and I'm looking down on meself,

wandering round

like a scabby old f***ing dog.

What? What?

He that forecasts all perils

will never sail the seas.

He that is afraid to shake the dice

will never throw a six.

If you do not enter a tiger's den,

you cannot get his cubs.

Oh, stick your proverbs

up your f***ing arse.

How do you say that in French?

- Huh?

- That's not very nice.

I'm f***ing up to here

with your philosophy.

I'm still getting over the f***ing

seagulls one, for Christ's sakes.

Always got more choices than we think.

Always.

Yeah, like what?

A shave.

Oh, I can't face her. Right?

Yes, you can.

Right?

- Eric.

- Chrissie.

No. Lily. Your first wife.

Yeah. Sorry, just a bit nervous.

She fed about half-hour ago.

There's fruit pure

in the Tupperware.

- The nappies are underneath.

- Amazing.

Oh, and the bibs are underneath.

And there's a bottle of water

in case she needs it.

Fantastic.

- Are you okay, Eric?

- Yeah, fine. Fine.

I'm sorry about the other day.

It's just that

I had a bit of a dizzy spell.

Hadn't slept right.

But, yeah, I'm fine, fine.

- Fighting fit.

- Good.

So are you okay for dropping her

at my place later

- or would you rather meet back here?

- Whatever's easiest.

It's only six weeks, isn't it?

- Yeah.

- Oh, I...

- Yeah.

- I didn't mean it like that. I just...

- Fancy a cup of tea, Lily?

- Why?

Look, Eric, let's just try and get

through this the best we can for Sam.

- Yeah.

- I'll see you later, Eric.

- Okay. See you.

- Bye-bye, gorgeous.

Hello.

Ryan, can I have a word, please?

- It's one of them.

- Ryan, what the f*** is that out there?

Just a rough guess,

but it looks like a cement mixer.

Yeah, I can see

it's a cement mixer, Ryan.

- What the f*** is it doing there?

- It's just chilling there for a bit.

What else do you think it is,

a f***ing go-kart?

- Just having a Bud.

- You've nicked it, haven't ya? Eh?

- Who's nicked it?

- I haven't nicked it.

- You've nicked it.

- I haven't nicked it.

Where's it come from? You've nicked it.

Right, well, I'll get it sorted.

Just chill out.

Yeah, well, get it

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