
Lloyd the Conqueror
- R
- Year:
- 2011
- 95 min
- 14 Views
[ SKATEBOARDING ]
ANDY:
It is here where our story begins.
A magical land that knew
peace for many, many years.
The sport of larping,
also known as
Live action role playing,
countryside by all who played.
(JOYFUL LAUGHTER)
[SCHOOL BELL RINGING]
But a shadow soon
fell over the land.
The dark one, Derek,
began his study of the larp,
Twisting its rules
to ensure victory.
His success
attracted many admirers,
in what was known as
The black crusade.
(YELLING AND CHEERING)
(WARRIORS YELLING)
ANDY:
And the spirit of the gamewas lost with their coming.
Fear replaced fun.
And treachery
replaced teamwork.
Holy shit.
(APPLAUSE)
ANDY:
Derek's grip grew stronger each year,
Until none
questioned his might.
And yet, whispers of change
are heard in the wind.
(CROWD CHEERING)
Can it be that a champion will
stand against the dark one?
And if so, is there
any chance of victory?
Kicking, kicking.
Kicking.
Yes. Good job.
Good job.
Ha, ha, ha.
- Ha!
- Oh!
[SWORDS CLANGING]
Stop it, Patrick,
you're making me lose.
Don't blame me
for your suckitude.
Oh sweet, I have
a gun in each hand.
Hammer brothers.
You made me die.
I'm just trying
to help you, Oswald,
It's called
negative reinforcement.
Look, if you're not
gonna respect me,
At least have some
respect for the game.
[DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
[SWORDS CLANGING]
So check this out,
on my way home,
I happened to pass
where that hot chick
Teaches kung fu or whatever.
You just happen to pass
You creepy bastard.
Yeah, but this time I happened
to glance in the window,
And me and her
made eye contact.
I'm 90% sure she smiled.
Like a rye, half smile.
Wow, that's like a fairy tale.
You guys wouldn't understand.
Anyway, let's get started
on this presentation.
What presentation?
The Beowulf project
for lit class.
I thought that wasn't
due till next week.
It is due in twelve
and a half hours,
And we've completed
approximately zero percent,
So that's literally putting
it off till the last minute.
I'm pretty sure that you and Oswald
said that you two would write it,
And then I would present
it in front of the class.
We did not.
I distinctly
remember you saying
I didn't have
to write anything.
I did not.
We're all gonna work on it.
We have to present a concise
analysis of an ancient text,
To the harshest
grader at the school
And you guys
are completely-
What is this Oswald?
Agent danger iii, die
dangerously, the video game.
I have been waiting
forever to play this game.
It's got multi-Player.
How about this,
we play one round,
Just to cleanse our palates,
Then we start
working on the project?
No, no way.
Are you shooting with
a gun in each hand?
Yeah.
Check this out, I'm gonna
shoot this guy in the junk.
VIDEO GAME:
Nut shot.
(LAUGHING)
Sweet.
Ok, one round, then
that's it, I'm serious.
[VIDEO GAME GUNFIRE
AND SWORD CLANGING]
Quit looking at my screen.
I'm not.
How are you finding me
That's like asking a
bumble bee how it buzzes.
Got ya, got ya, got ya.
I'm not playing
with a screen looker.
You're a screen
looker, dill hole.
It's 4:
00 a.m.Better hit the sack.
Me too.
What about the project?
We need a ten minute
report on Beowulf.
Beowulf?
More like
gay-O-Wolf.
Oh good, now we
have an opening.
Hey, don't stress
about it, Lloyd.
We'll throw something
together in the morning,
And I'll draw a
picture for visual aid.
Yeah, no sweat.
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"Lloyd the Conqueror" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 5 Mar. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/lloyd_the_conqueror_12723>.