Liz & Dick Page #3

OVER THIS WAY.

OH, THANK YOU.

SO, YOU HAVE PLANS

FOR DINNER TONIGHT?

WELL, I THOUGH WE'D GO SOMEWHERE QUIET.

"WE"?

"US," STUPID.

OH.

[ CHUCKLES ]

WHATEVER YOU SAY, DUMPY.

[ CHUCKLES SOFTLY ]

OH!

[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?

MR. ZANUCK,

LET ME BE CLEAR --

OUR DEPARTMENT HAD NOTHING TO DO

WITH THESE PHOTOGRAPHS.

WHO IN THE HELL SHOT THIS?

WELL, IT'S JUST KIDS

ON MOTOR SCOOTERS.

ROME IS INFESTED WITH THEM.

THEY CALL THEM "PAPARAZZI."

"PAPARAZZI"?

IT MEANS:

"LITTLE BUZZING INSECTS."

I-I THINK FELLINI

ACTUALLY COINED THE WORD.

LIKE I CARE.

I HAVE A PUBLICITY DEPARTMEN PRECISELY

SO THAT PHOTOS LIKE THESE

DO NOT, NOT, NOT GET PUBLISHED.

CAPICHE?

YES, SIR.

FIX IT.

YES, SIR.

THIS WAS THE SCANDAL.

IT WASN'T JUS THAT WE WERE HAVING AN AFFAIR.

NO, MOVIE STARS HAD AFFAIRS

ALL THE TIME.

BEFORE US, THEY NEVER

REALLY WROTE ABOUT AFFAIRS

BETWEEN MARRIED PEOPLE.

AND, OF COURSE, WE WERE MARRIED,

AND WE HAD CHILDREN.

[ Laughing ]

I WAS THE MONSTER

THAT BROKE UP:

AMERICA'S SWEETHEARTS.

SHE'S TALKING ABOUT EDDIE FISHER

AND DEBBIE REYNOLDS.

THEY KNOW:

WHO I'M TALKING ABOUT, RICHARD.

AND, OF COURSE,

EDDIE HAD BEEN BEST MAN

AT MIKE TODD'S WEDDING,

SO...

SO SHOOT ME.

DO I SOUND DEFENSIVE?

BECAUSE I'M NOT.

EDDIE CHASED ME, AND I WAS

STUPID ENOUGH TO GIVE IN.

YES.

AND YOU WERE VULNERABLE

AFTER MIKE'S DEATH.

BESIDES...

HOW WERE YOU TO KNOW

THAT I WAS GOING TO COME ALONG?

[ LAUGHS ]

LIKE YOU HAD ANY IDEA OF WHA WAS GOING TO HIT YOU, BUSTER.

WITH HER?!

YOU THINK I'LL STAY

AND HAVE THIS PUSHED IN MY FACE

EVERY DAY?

BUT, SYBIL --

DON'T!

NO MORE LIES!

I'VE PUT UP WITH YEARS

OF YOUR WANDERING.

BUT AT LEAST YOU DIDN' MAKE A FOOL OF ME IN PUBLIC.

I LOOK AT THESE:

AND CAN ONLY IMAGINE

YOU THINK:

I'M A WORTHLESS IDIOT!

[ PAPARAZZI SHOUTING ]

HAVE YOU HEARD:

ABOUT THE NEWS, EDDIE?!

I WENT TO NEW YORK

TO DO A SHOW.

NOW I'M BACK

TO SEE MY WIFE.

HAVE YOU SEEN THE PICTURES

IN THE PAPER, EDDIE?!

GUYS...

WHAT ABOUT PICTURES?!

...FORGET ABOUT IT, HUH?

YOU NEVER SEEN:

PUBLICITY?

[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]

[ INDISTINCT TALKING ]

YOU WOULD!

NO, DON'T, DON'T.

NO, NO, PLEASE.

HOLD YOUR LIQUOR.

HOLD YOUR LIQUOR.

EDDIE!

THE PRODIGAL RETURNS.

COME.

SIT.

HAVE A DRINK.

HERE.

WE'VE JUST BEEN

TALKING ABOUT YOU.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

OH, I'M SLEEPING

WITH YOUR WIFE.

WHAT'D YOU SAY?

YES, IT'S BEEN

IN ALL THE PAPERS.

I'M SLEEPING

WITH ELIZABETH.

LIZ?

ED...

IN FACT, EDDIE,

I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE,

BECAUSE I HAVE A QUESTION

FOR ELIZABETH,

AND --

AND IT DOES CONCERN YOU.

DEAR ELIZABETH,

QUEEN OF THE NILE,

HERE WE BOTH ARE, TWO SCHOOLBOYS

BEGGING FOR YOUR HAND,

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