Living It Up Page #3

- How do you do?

I know it's difficult

for you to talk about it,

but if you could give me

some information.

- Well, it's sort of all over now.

- Oh, never say it's all over, Homer!

Well, I didn't say it, but Doc Harris...

Look, I don't want to hear

about your ailment.

I don't want to hear anything

that isn't gaiety and laughter

as far as you're concerned.

Because, Homer,

I'm taking you to New York.

- New York?

- That's right.

As guest of Oliver Stone,

editor of the Morning Chronicle,

- Now, don't say anything until I tell you...

- Oh, I didn't say anything.

Good.

We're going to lay the whole

cockeyed city at your feet.

The town will take you to its heart.

Everything you've ever wanted,

you'll have on a silver platter.

- Everything?

- Everything.

Could you get the Super Chief to stop

right here at Desert Hole to pick me up?

Homer, Oliver Stone could get

the Queen Mary to stop here.

All of this just because...

Yes, Homer.

That's putting it bluntly,

but I might as well be honest.

You're going all the way to New York

because you've got radiation poisoning.

How far can I go on a sinus condition?

Oh, don't joke, Homer.

It's too serious.

Now, could you show me to a hotel

so I could freshen up?

- Yes, ma'am. There's one right here.

- Oh, I'll take the bag.

I'll take the coat.

- This way, ma'am.

- All right.

Hi, Shane.

Believe me, I'd take you out of this town

if you were my worst enemy.

Have you lived here all your life?

Oh, twice that, ma'am.

Tell me, Miss Cook, when will we go?

Right after I talk to your doctor.

Oh, do you have to?

Our readers like all

the gruesome details.

They're strong enough

to stand the truth.

Yeah, but am I?

Well, here's the hotel, Miss Cook.

- I'll see you later.

- Bye.

Doc!

Love me, love me, love me, baby, too

Hey, Doc. Excuse me! Hey, Doc!

Listen, Doc! Doc! Hey, excuse me, Doc.

- Hey, Doc! Hey, Doc, you gotta help me!

- You got an appointment?

No, but listen, Doc, there's

a reporter from New York, see?

And she wants me to go there with her,

all expenses paid, and you know why?

- Because I'm dying.

- You're not gonna die, Homer.

I just made out a new report

to the railroad.

Oh, you can overlook it, can't you, Doc?

It could slip your mind, can't it?

Every doctor makes mistakes,

that's why we have hospitals.

Look, the retainer the railroad gives me

is the only thing that keeps me alive.

- I couldn't do a thing like that.

- Oh, yes, you could!

Because if you don't,

I'll just drop them a little line myself.

What a fine doctor they got,

takes X-rays of Swiss watches.

You'd be fired.

Then I'd tell them about

their new stationmaster,

who's trying to gyp them out of $300.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes