Little Saigon

---

1

(dramatic music)

Hi, I'm Jack Mackie,

owner of Jackie Mackie Real

Estate and Immigration Services

located right here in the

heart of Little Saigon.

And guess what.

Today moved Gina Huynh

into this house behind me

with nothing down, right, Gina?

Right, Jack Mackie.

No down payment, right?

Right, Jack Mackie, no down payment.

She has no job.

No job, right?

No job, but I start nail salon Monday.

Right, but no job now.

And she's not even a citizen, right?

No, Jack.

She might even get deported, who knows,

but the important thing is

she got into this house today, right?

I got her in with nothin' down.

So come on down and see me

on the corner of Bolsa and Magnolia.

I'll give you a free donut.

After that we'll talk about getting you

into a house with nothin' down.

Remember, my motto is nothing

down in Little Saigon.

(speaking Vietnamese)

She just said the exact same thing I did

only in Vietnamese.

Oh, and don't forget to come down

for the Tet Parade this Saturday

when yours truly, Jack Mackie,

will be the grand marshal.

And as I drive by, say, "Hey,

Jack, throw me a donut."

And you know what, I will!

(chuckles) Remember, my motto is

nothing down in Little Saigon.

Nothin', and donuts are always free.

(Asian instrumental music)

That's me, Jack Mackie, grand marshal

of the 2007 Little Saigon Tet Parade

back when real estate was booming

and my commercials were

running night and day.

And then it all went to hell.

Looking back, I guess my first mistake

was going on the Judge Jerry TV show.

(dramatic music)

(gavel thuds)

I am the law.

Your Honor, this man owes

me $1,200 in back wages,

due to the fact that I worked for him.

And, uh, Mr. Mackie, what

do you have to say, sir?

Well, first of all, Your

Honor, good morning to you.

Your Honor, yes, it is true

that this young lady here

was employed by me at

my real estate office,

Jack Mackie Real Estate

and Immigration Services,

which is located on the

corner of Bolsa and Magnolia

right here in Little Saigon.

I don't need to know the location.

Oh, okay.

Well, uh, Your Honor,

one of her duties, um,

was to be an actress in my TV commercials.

The commercials, by the

way, air every night here

on the local cable channel six

from like eight to midnight,

sometimes on weekends,

something 10 to one.

Mr. Mackie, please stop

trying to use my courtroom

as a vehicle to advertise your business.

Oh, I'm, I'm sorry, Your

Honor, I, I, I apologize.

Well, anyway, uh, the reason

why I had to let her go,

Your, Your, uh, Your Honor.

The reason why I had to

let her go was because,

well, frankly, she's a lousy actress.

That's a lie.

I can act my ass off.

Didn't you know she was a lousy actress

when you hired her?

Your Honor, I object!

Yes, well, Your Honor,

it's true, I did. (chuckles)

I mean, how could you not, right?

But I kept thinking she'd get better.

But if anything, she got

worse, um, if that's possible.

So, Your Honor, I put her to

work on my company website,

If I have to warn you one more time

about promoting your business

in my courtroom I'll have to...

All right, well, Your

Honor, okay, I'm sorry,

but I mean, you know, I, I, I... (scoffs)

In the interest of justice, Your Honor,

I think you need to know the facts.

Your Honor, if I may be so bold as to say

you are entitled to the facts

and I'm trying to give them to you.

The only fact I'm concerned

is if you can demonstrate

why you did not pay the plaintiff

for her last two weeks of employment.

Your Honor, there are,

I can give you, there's,

I have another location, too, by the way,

that's gonna be opening up

in Huntington Beach, so...

You see what a sneaky

a**hole he is, Judge J?

You people see.

No job, no credit.

[Jack] No money, no money.

No money, no problem.

There, I think you've got it.

Now I ask you, is that bad acting?

Judge J.

You're still here?

Yeah, why wouldn't I be here.

You said you were gonna

take me to breakfast.

(yawning) I'm sorry, I can't.

Why not?

What happened?

I sobered up.

So it's like that?

Yeah, just like that.

Come on, you've gotta get outta here.

My wife'll be here any minute.

You, your wife?

[Jerry] Yeah, my wife.

You didn't tell me you were married.

Why should I?

It's none of your business.

Oh, god, where is it?

Gimme.

Come on, be a good girl!

Forget it.

Huh.

Hmm.

Let's go for a little scuba dive.

How do you like that?

(floor creaks)

Oh, no, please no!

(eerie music)

Please, no!

(metallic ringing)

Oh, sh*t.

No.

Please don't hurt me.

Please don't hurt me.

Please.

(screams)

(light instrumental music)

Hey, Mindy, any calls?

Nothing you wanna hear about.

Well, try me.

Your ex-wife called, and she...

Oh, wait, whoa, whoa, which ex-wife?

Margo.

Forget it, anyone else?

The police.

[Jack] The police?

Um, a guy named Detective Agnew.

(Jack sighs)

And he didn't leave a message,

but he said he'd stop by.

Stop by when?

I don't know.

Not sure, but it felt like soon.

Did it really?

It felt like soon?

Thanks, Mindy.

Um, Tuan, conference room, now.

(hinges squeaking)

So, look, what do you think the cops want?

I don't know.

Have you been doing anything illegal?

No, I can't think of

anything, and even if I had,

it would just be civil

litigation kinda stuff.

What about you?

I can't think of anything off hand.

Well, good.

Sounds like we're okay.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes