Little Black Book Page #3

need you focused right here!

It's all about sweeps.

Give me drama, pathos,

life unfolding.

Make me cry. Ira.

Regurgitate something fresh.

- "Midget Holiday Hell."

- Stinks.

- Come on. Give it to Daddy.

- "Parents Who Party."

- Who do they party with?

- Rejecting the midgets?

- Midgets.

- What?

Mixed parents.

Happy mixed parents.

- One normal size...

- One midget?

- Sexy. I like it.

- Those midgets are mine!

You can't corner the midget market!

Yours party during holidays.

- Mine party as a family.

- Are they happy?

- It'd make you cry.

- Kippie is great with sentiment.

- Give me that thing!

- Don't! Don't touch me!

- He has no happy midgets!

- Gentlemen, please!

We combine the segments.

We share the credit and the midgets.

We work together here, people.

We are a team.

- "Grandma's a Hooker."

- You got a grandma?

- Several.

- Run the prep.

- "Penitentiary Porn."

- "Little Black Books."

- Do not follow.

- Electronic little black books.

- As in?

- As in Palms...

...BlackBerries, desk organizers.

Electronic footprints...

...of where your man has been

and with whom.

Under the right circumstances,

they could be a girl's best friend.

Especially a scorned girlfriend,

wife, mistress...

- I think it's a fantastic idea.

- Thank you!

- Since our audience is 90% female...

- Sexy! Run the prep.

Let's go! Come on.

- "Pregnant Strippers"!

- "Black Midgets with Books"!

- "Unnatural Animal Love."

- "Literacy in Inner-City Schools."

Sh*t! Take it back. Take it back.

She was just kidding.

And I tried to pretend I was.

First the doorbell,

then the staff meeting?

I am absolutely mortified.

Don't worry, no one will remember.

- You can ring my bell

- Hey, stop it!

- Ring my bell

- She's really upset.

Oh, please. I'm the only victim here.

Why should I be forced

to share credit with...?

- Not fair.

- Your midget idea was tired.

- His twist made it different.

- Thanks, I feel so much better.

If you make sweeps even

with shared credit, that's a huge deal.

I happen to know that the people

from Harpo, Oprah's group...

...TiVo every one of our shows.

For what it's worth, I really like

your "Little Black Book" idea.

- Really?

- Yeah. So don't cry in my soup.

- So how does it all work exactly?

- You put your best shows in sweeps.

The most outrageous, the most

provocative attention-grabbers.

- Then they promo it.

- It's about getting eyeballs...

...to get numbers, to get revenue,

to get renewed.

We're beginning sweeps now,

so things are in the can.

- So, what was pitched today?

- June sluts.

Slots. Of which we average

nine a month.

"We" being the drones. The APs.

When an AP gets a slut... Slot.

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