Leave to Remain Page #3

- F***!

- F***ing hell, man! Sh*t!

F***, man!

- What the f*** is wrong with you, man? F***ing d*ckheads!

- F*** you!

Where are you taking him, eh?

Rafi, man, we'll get you out, don't worry.

I'll call your caseworker.

BELL RINGS:

I'm next.

Then you...

then you.

You a Fed?

F***...

Omar, where you get this laptop from, bro?

So sh*t, man.

I can't even remember what the

f*** I said in my statement.

It was like two years ago, bro.

Look, just tell them a good

story, that's all I'm saying.

- It's all about what you say and...

- Who you say it to. - Yes, bro.

- We need to find somewhere more dangerous than Nuristan.

- Peckham!

Look, bro, they can't send you back.

You've got options. Check it out.

Look, Gereshk Valley, Helmand Province.

Danger there, man.

All kinds of sh*t going off. Death Valley!

But you need to nail it, every detail.

You can't appeal based on a

well-founded fear of persecution

cos your father was involved

in a dispute over land.

But the fact that the Home Office have

taken so long to review your case

means we should apply under Article

8 of the Human Rights Act -

the right to respect of

private and family life.

OK.

You've been here a long

time - established a life.

Let's review your case. Which

province are you from again?

I say I was from Nuristan, but

actually I'm from Gereshk Valley.

Well, that makes sense. It helps.

It's on the list of no-go areas.

Why did you say you were from

Nuristan in your screening interview?

Maybe the people who got you in

told you it was better to say that.

You were 15...traumatised.

- Maybe.

- Definitely.

I was 15 and I was traumatised.

You'll need a suit.

Omar, bro! It's jihad time, man!

Life in the UK - question number one.

First to Alpha.

When was the Queen born?

- She was born April 21st, 1926.

- Mm-hm.

She also has a birthday in June.

- Only the Queen of England has two birthdays.

- No! - Are you mad? Look!

- What? - Look at this.

- Home Office birthdays, bro. What is this?

- Booyah!

- Oh-h, that's right. We also have two birthdays.

That means we are like royalty!

- Omar, same question.

- Hey, King Omar, eh?

Sorry, Your Royal f***ing Highness.

How old is HRH Queen Elizabeth whatever?

I would never comment on a lady's age.

White girls, mmm!

LAUGHTER:

War, huh, ooh-yeah

What is it good for?

Absolutely nothing!

- Boys, boys, get your stuff.

- Girls, get your stuff in the coach. - Listen!

- Just get here... just get here. The bags are on the bus.

- Queue up. Keep a watch of the bags here.

I'm not hassling you, I'm telling you that

the coach is here. You need to get here.

You're late, you can get to the back.

No, no, no, no, mostly everyone's here.

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